Punchlines: Jul. 4, 2005

“President Bush welcomed Vietnam’s Prime Minister to the White House today. He promised he would travel to Vietnam next year–that is unless his dad can get him out of it.” –JAY LENO

“They had a thing downtown yesterday–some idiots were putting up a 17-ton Popsicle–so for one day only, the coldest thing in New York was not Hillary Clinton.” –DAVID LETTERMAN

“A court in Germany has ruled that soldiers in the German army should be allowed to keep their mullets and ponytails. In a related story, the German army is now doing most of its recruiting in New Jersey.” –CONAN O’BRIEN