Admiral Heflin

Alabama’s loudest orator, U. S. Senator James Thomas Heflin, last week at Abbeville, Ala., vituperated Governor Alfred Emanuel Smith of New York, the daily press of Alabama and Pope Pius XI.

Next day Representative Lee Edmundson of Jefferson, Ala., introduced the following resolution to the state legislature:

“WHEREAS the United States of America is in grave danger of an attack by the Pope of Rome.

“WHEREAS, except for the valor, bravery and foresight of that great and eminent leader and statesman, the Hon. J. Thomas Heflin, senior Senator from Alabama, this country would be defenseless against such an attack.

“WHEREAS the Hon. J. Thomas Heflin should be placed in a position where he can defend this country in person against the impending attack of the Pope; now therefore be it

“RESOLVED by the House of Representatives, That the President of the United States be requested to appoint the Hon. J. Thomas Heflin an admiral in the Navy and to place him in command of the battleship West Virginia, the pride of the Navy, with orders to anchor at New York Harbor.

“RESOLVED further, That the new admiral be instructed upon the appearance of the Pope on the water, in the air, under the sea or in fancy within twelve miles of the Statute of Liberty to fire unceasingly for a period of twelve hours with 16-inch shells loaded with the most deadly verbosity at the command of the new admiral.

“RESOLVED FURTHER, That a copy of this resolution be forwarded to the President of the United States, the President of the Senate of the United States, the Secretary of the Navy and to our most valiant and courageous protector and statesman, the Hon. J. Thomas Heflin.”