POLITICAL NOTES: Federal Employes

Dan, Dan, the lavatory man

He dresses clean and tidy, and he does the best he can.

He serves out towels and brushes and soap

But he has no opportunities and very little hope.

Bleak, truly, is the lot of any lavatory man, but bleaker still if he is a lavatory man employed by the U. S. Government. Nor are lavatory men alone in their exigency. Federal attendants of all sorts, guards in zoos and biological gardens, seneschals in museums and the gray-faced individuals of nameless profession who patrol at intervals the hollow echoing corridors of public libraries — all are underpaid, all are overworked.

It is true that the functions of their office exact neither physical nor mental effort from these gentlemen. Sweatshop workers, boilermakers, bookkeepers, often look upon them with envy. Guards have it easy. All they gotta do is just stand, and once in a while tell some loonhead where to go.

“Third to the left for the new books, mister.”

“English Art, first to the right.”

Twelve hours a day, seven days a week. They just stand. Shoes go by, precise shoes, sprawling de-liberate shoes, hobbledehoys, clubfoot, no sock and bunions; narrow slippers that do their walking in limousines. New men take their eyes off the floor and look at faces; thousands of wall-eyed masks with halitosis, passing in slow and grave procession, the time comes for action. Somebody actually puts his hand in the leopard’s cage, or forgets to register a book, or spits on the floor. Then the custodian snarls his ill-natured correction, clearly demonstrating that he is an insolent varlet who does not know his place. But for the most part he has an easy time. He just stands.

“Check your hat and coat; no smoking, lady.”

“Straight back for the monkey house.”

Last week Luther C. Steward, national President of the Federation of Federal Employes, announced that at the coming annual convention (beginning Sept. 7 at Faneuil Hall, Boston) he will lay before his fellows a resolution urging Congress to fix $1,500 as the minimum salary for all Federal employees, which would make their salaries almost comparable to those paid by private industries. Said he:

“It was the Government that gave impetus to the 8-hour day and 6-day week for the workingman. It was the Government which told the outside employer that that is sufficient time of labor and that it is unfair to work a man longer. The Federation of Federal Employes believe that the Government should not attempt to give advice to private concerns unless it is itself a model employer. We hope to make it the model employer in this respect.”