Imaginary Interviews: Oct. 1, 1923

John Philip Sousa, bandmaster: ” I was elected an honorary member of the Philadelphia Camp Fire Girls. They named me ‘ Nawadaha.’ ”

Governor Fred H. Brown (Democrat) of New Hampshire: “An ignorant Manhattan picture company furnished TIME with a picture of ex-Governor Albert Oscar Brown, Republican, who retired last January, when the editor asked for my picture to publish (in the issue of Sept. 10) in connection with my remark: ‘The people want coal—not resolutions.’ ” Avery Hopwood (“bedroom man”): “A San Francisco police judge found a producer and nine actors guilty of presenting ‘an indecent and obscene representation,’ sentenced each to $50 fine or 25 days in jail, on account of certain passages in Getting Gertie’s Garter, farce-comedy written by me, played by them. Said the San Francisco Chronicle: ‘The cry of “Unclean! Unclean!” was raised today’.”

Peter B. Kyne, writer of sea stories: ” I instructed my attorneys to sue the Famous Players-Lasky Corporation for $100,000, charging damage to my pen reputation in the film Homeward Bound, which the Corporation advertised as an ‘adaptation’ of my short story, The Light to Leeward. I called their film ‘a picture for morons.’ I called their perversion of my story a betrayal of the public. I added: ‘Jesse L. Lasky wouldn’t know ethics if he met them in his grog. I hazard the opinion that he never heard of the word until his partner, Adolph Zukor, heard some author use it.’ ”

James J. Jeffries, ex-world’s champion heavyweight pugilist: ” Interviewed at my California ranch about my announced evangelistic intentions, said I: ‘I don’t give a darn for preachers. . . . For heaven’s sake don’t tell anyone I’m to become a preacher. I might be a lecturer. . . . But a preacher?—O Lord, deliver me!’ ”

Miss Helen Wills, national women’s tennis champion: “In an $8,000,000 fire at Berkeley, Calif., where I live, 45 square blocks of the city’s most beautiful homes were devastated and I was treated at the Emergency Hospital for blistered feet and a cinder in my eye.”

Woodrow Wilson: ” F. W. Wile, able Washington correspondent for many dailies, called attention to the fact that I was probably the only President of the U. S. who. while in office, wore the official shield of the Republic. A scarf pin shield was presented me by a Princeton jeweler. I put it on within a few moments after having taken the Presidential oath in 1912. It was seldom missing from my necktie while I occupied the White House.”