Miscellany, Jun. 30, 1952

Soft Diet. In Copenhagen, when German Sword Swallower Paul Heinrich Ross developed indigestion, he refused to let a doctor put a rubber tube into his stomach because “I just can’t bring myself to swallow it.”

Next Case? In Macon, Mo., Charles Reams, Civil Aeronautics Administration representative, flew in to investigate a plane crash, escaped unhurt when he wrecked his own plane on Banding.

The Spoken Word. In Phoenix, Ariz., James Malloy, manager of an employment agency, mentioned a job as a pharmacist to a young applicant who replied: “I’ve never worked on a farm before.”

On the Surface. In Chicago, Junkman Peter Dukes used his own trucks to haul in a dozen loads of his own stone and cinders to fill in holes in the street outside his yard, soon received a court summons on charges of dumping in the street.

Shock Treatment. In Lyon, France, Pierre Pellegrin, 32, grew tired of life and threw himself into the Rhone, shiveringly told police after he swam out: “If the water had been ten degrees warmer, I don’t suppose I’d be here now.”

All or Nothing. In Jacksonville, Used-Car Dealer Armand Dufrene wondered for two years what was in the locked safe in his office, which he had never been able to open, still wondered about its contents after burglars looted it.

Point of Law. In St. Louis, Henry Wise argued in court that his six-week-old mongrel was a pup rather than a dog, thus won an acquittal on a charge of not owning a dog license.

The Search. In Seattle, James E. Daniels, 39, announced hopefully: “There’s a girl in the world who is made tor me, and I’ll find her,” as he won a divorce from, his 14th wife.

This Way Out. In Dennison, Ohio, Convict William Kimble, 26, told police who rearrested him that he knew nothing about any escape plot until “I saw a line of guys at the window and got in line myself.”

Qualification Course. In Detroit, after being arrested in a stolen municipal truck, Robert Battle, 23, told police he was on his way to get a job with the city, “and I wanted to be able to say I could drive a truck.”

Happy Days. In Chrisman, Ill., Police Chief Carl Sayres was so overjoyed when the village bought him his first squad car that he 1) ran the car into a plowed field, 2) paid a $113 fine for drunkenness and assault & battery, 3) lost his job.