Miscellany, Apr. 2, 1951

Point of View. In Pittsfield, Mass., after deep study, cops discovered why a motorist’s license plates—611.969—did not correspond with the number on his registration papers—696.119: the plates had been screwed on upside down.

Protective Custody. In Terre Haute Ind., Patrolman Earl Oealmear got an emergency telephone call from one Fred Wilson, who reported: “I’ve had six beers in three hours. I’m afraid I’m going to beat my wife. Come and arrest me.”

Interim Appointment. In Seattle an advertisement in the Times offered a “good opportunity for an inefficient stenographer to work until we can secure an efficient one.”

Birds of Peace. In Kufstein, Austria after a dispute at the Austrian Dove Breeders’ Association, cops hauled four men and two women to a hospital, estimated damages at $50.

People’s Choice. In Chattanooga, Tenn., after his playful radio campaign for mayor drew more support than he had bargained for, Disc-Jockey Luther Masingill ran a full-page ad announcing that he was not a candidate, urging his supporters to pick one of the men who were.

Specialist. In Mobile, Ala., a gunman held up Mrs. Harold Matthews in her husband’s grocery, took all her one-dollar bills, left the fives, tens, twenties.

False Pretenses. In Irrendorf, Germany, the community council voted unanimously to look for a new name for the town, because the present one, which means madmen’s village,” is “misleading.”

My Son. In Brighton, Mass., James Stewart, 22, arrested for larceny, explained why he was heading toward home with a stolen calf: “My little boy is almost three years old and he’s never seen a calf.”

Rhetorical Question. In Riverside, Calif., the Daily Press announced that Assemblyman John Babbage would speak at the local Rotary Club on: “What Can We Do About Texas?”

Through Channels. In Highland Park, Ill., Mrs. Richard Biddle finally received her new 1951 license plates, after they had been mistakenly sent to her soldier husband, followed him to 1) Fort Sheridan, Ill., 2) Japan, 3) Korea.

Two-Party System. In Bloomington, Ind., Judge Quincy Austin East received a letter from a plaintiff: “My divorce suit is due to come up and I want you to see that it goes through all right. Virtually all of my family are Republicans and have been more or less since birth, while on the other hand, my husband and his family are strong Democrats.”