CRIME: I Ain’t Never . . .

The Senate’s Kefauver investigating committee visited the City of the Angels last week and sought out its most aggrieved blue-jowled cherub, roly-poly Gambler Mickey Cohen.

From the minute he entered a crowded courtroom in Los Angeles’ federal building, Mickey was the star of the show. Wearing a natty brown suit, brown tie and deep black scowl, he faced a whole battery of newsmen, photographers, movie cameras and tape recorders. Said Mickey proudly: “I could spit on the sidewalk and it would make headlines.” For five hours, without notes and without much help from his two lawyers, he answered questions put by committee lawyers and three Senators. Whenever they put him on the spot, Mickey would hoist his bushy eyebrows, look injured and answer: “I don’t know.” He denied every charge on which he was questioned:

“I ain’t never muscled no one in my life . . .”

“I ain’t never offered no policeman a bribe.”

“I never pistol-whipped anyone.”

“I ain’t never been with no prostitute . . .”

“I never had no part of a fix . . .”

“I never strong-armed nobody in my life. I may have beat up some people . . .”

For hours, Mickey was questioned about his income. He finally admitted to a $40,000 home, $48,000 in furnishings, two Cadillacs and an armored car. But he insisted that he was really broke and owed about $300,000 to friends who frequently lend him large sums without collateral, security, or even a note, because “they just happen to like me.”

Grey-haired Senator Charles Tobey of New Hampshire broke in incredulously,

“How do you maintain that kind of credit?”

Mickey allowed himself a smile. “It’s getting very weak, Senator.”

Although frequently nettled, Mickey completely lost his poise only once. When a committee lawyer began a question, “Is it not a fact . . . that you live extravagantly, surrounded by violence? . . .” Mickey roared: “What do you mean ‘surrounded by violence?’ People are shooting at me.” Admonished to answer the question, Mickey said sullenly, “I don’t like the way he asks them questions. There’s two ways to ask a question and I say he isn’t asking them right.”

After a long, hard afternoon, the committee read Mickey a long list of gangsters, from Frank Costello to Charlie Fischetti. Mickey said he didn’t know most of them, and was dismissed. As he left the room with a sneer on his face, old Senator Tobey remarked: “The committee must go into this matter further at a later date.”