The Press: Glamour Glossary

After reading a United Press story that described an ax-wielding husband killer as an “attractive mother of three,” News Editor Jim Fox of the Jamestown (N.Y.) Sun (circ. 11,444) checked the U.P.’s picture of the woman. “She looks,” Editor Fox protested to the U.P. Reporter last week, “like five miles of bad road.” Farther down the road, Jim Fox reported that he then compared other wire-service descriptions of women with their pictures and “finally worked out U.P.’s ‘system.’ ” Fox’s U.P. glamour glossary:

> Attractive: buck teeth or teeth missing, ratty hair and a figure like 50 pounds of potatoes, badly sacked.

> Pretty: almost as bad as attractive, but younger.

> Beautiful: she’ll pass if the light’s dim and one doesn’t peer too closely at the thick makeup and dyed hair.

> Lovely: a little older than beautiful.