Miscellany, Mar. 26, 1951

All Out. In Portland, Ore., seeking higher wages from the O’Connell Packing Co., makers of dog & cat foods, the Cannery Workers’ Union sent 1) two packinghouse hands, 2) two Dalmatians, to picket the plant.

The Informer. In Pittsburgh, after 40 holdup victims were unable to identify any suspect in a police lineup, one of the suspects obliged by identifying three of the persons he had held up.

Spiked Shoes. In Bellefontaine, Ohio, Mrs. Helen McCullough, charged with jabbing the heel of her slipper into her husband’s face, was booked for “assault & battery with a deadly weapon.”

Social Security. In Salem, Ore., a bill introduced in the state legislature would guarantee a moviegoer double his money back if he fails to find a seat within 30 minutes after entering the theater.

Emergency Loan. In Long Beach, Calif., when the proprietor of a small grocery pleaded to the gunman holding him up that “We’re poor, too,” the gunman walked off with the day’s take ($32), but promised, “I’ll get a bigger haul than this and then I’ll pay you back.”

Charm School Notes. In San Antonio, Policeman Joe Melody denied that he had kissed a housewife three times: she was not wearing her false teeth at the time of the alleged offense, he said, and a toothless woman does not constitute “a kissable object.”

Specialization. In Chicago, thieves made off with 5,000 diapers from Richard De Fore’s diaper service. In Haccombe, England, burglars stole some $1,500 worth of lead plating from a church roof, carefully replaced it with grey rubberoid.

Audience Reaction. In Miami, Mrs. Ethel Sue Kaye sued for divorce, charged that her disc-jockey husband criticized her cooking on the air, referred to their “socalled honeymoon.”

Balance of Power. In Hertford, England, running for county alderman, C.E.G.B. Goad cast his ballot for his rival, lost the election by one vote.

The Fine Print. In Grand Island, Neb., to show that people don’t read what they sign, the Independent circulated a petition asking the city council, among other things, “to hang me by the neck until dead,” got 35 signatures.

Still, Small Voice. In Los Angeles, a thug entered Delfin Cosio’s liquor shop, took $60 and a bottle of whisky at gunpoint, returned five minutes later to deposit his loot on the counter, said: “Give me a break. I don’t know what happened.”