About 2 B.C., Roman Poet Ovid, the Oscar Wilde of his day, told in his Art of Love how to woo a lady:
Let exercise your body brown:
Don’t slobber: see your teeth are clean:
Your hair well cut and brushed quite
down:
Your cheeks close shaved with razor
keen:
Your toga spotless, white, and neat:
Your sandals fitting to your feet.
Remember too your nails to pare:
Bathe well your body to be sure,
Pluck from your nostrils every hair,
A noisome breath with citron cure—
And that is all you need to know:
The rest the girls you may allow.
Last week the Lambert Pharmacal Co., makers of Listerine—which contains no citron—reprinted 17 stanzas of Ovid’s advice and crowed: “You had the right idea, Ovid, but the wrong remedy.” It was a long literary reach, but it undoubtedly trapped some readers who had never read a Listerine ad before.
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