Miscellany, Nov. 13, 1944

Headstrong. In Manhattan, at a U.S. Customs Service auction, an unidentified man bid 25¢ for a toupee, won it, insisted it was for a friend, walked out of the room without removing his hat.

Aren’t We All? At Sedalia Field, Mo., a private first class sewed master-sergeant’s stripes on his pajamas, said: “I can dream, can’t I?”

There! In Chatham, Ont., administrators finally settled the estate of John McKerroll, dead since 1872, sent to 121 heirs scattered through the U.S. and Can ada their shares, ranging from 25¢ to $1 each.

Hereafter Thought. In Glendale, Calif., an applicant for extra gas coupons complained “it’s difficult to get people to ride with me,” added that he was an undertaker.

Yes Indeedy. In Fort Worth, burglars lifted $2,186 in cash and a 600-lb. steel safe from the Helpy-Selfy Grocery and Market.

Night Must Fall. In Albuquerque, N. Mex., a newspaper advertisement read: “For Sale— 12 floodlights. Two WPA out houses. Reasonable.”

No, No. In the Marysville, Calif. Bingo Playhouse, a G.I. won a free five-minute telephone call to any place in the U.S., rang up his mother-in-law in Gridley, Calif., 15¢ away.

Hit & Run. In Vancouver, Wash., a motorist smashed into one Clarence Williams, broke his leg, pulled up a few feet ahead, ran back, lifted Williams’ wallet, drove on.

Brain Food. In Kalamazoo, Librarian Lillian Anderson opened a returned book, withdrew the bookmark — a dried fish.

Accompanist. In Springfield, Ill., Sheriff Walter Hagler listened carefully, then broke up a prisoners’ quartet and took away the discordant saw with which one of the singers was cutting through the bars.

Odor of Sanctity. In Niagara Falls, Ont., the County Court demanded some new Bibles when a witness refused to kiss one, complained that it “smelled like a distillery.”

Lost &; Found. In Maplewood, N.J., Patrolman Herman Schmidt brawled with three motorists, had his ear bitten off, lost some teeth, his badge and gun. Later in the night police, searching with floodlights, found Schmidt’s ear, rushed it to the hospital, where it was sewed back on.