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GOOD WEEK/BAD WEEK

Gwyneth’s Face

She’s the first person to appear on the cover of Bon Appétit magazine in more than 10 years.

Gwyneth’s Voice

Atlantic Records has reportedly stalled on a deal to produce her country-music album.

BRANDS

SEAL Appeal

Spurred by Disney’s attempt to trademark the phrase Seal Team 6, the U.S. Navy filed applications for the terms Navy SEALs and SEAL Team. Possibly stung by bad press, Disney withdrew its request.

Mick Jagger + Dave Stewart + A.R. Rahman + Joss Stone + Damian Marley = SUPER HEAVY

FULL FRONTAL

More than 700 pieces of art by filmmaker Tim Burton are on display at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art through Oct. 31. The retrospective, which became one of the most popular ever mounted at New York City’s Museum of Modern Art following its debut, features paintings (including Blue Girl with Wine, above), films, photographs and puppets.

MUSIC

The Most Random Band Ever?

What do you get when you combine Mick Jagger, the dude from Eurythmics, an Indian film composer, a female soul singer and Bob Marley’s youngest son? A “fusion” band called Super Heavy. Apparently Jagger wanted to try something new in case his other gig didn’t work out.

VERBATIM

‘In the eighties and early nineties, the movie star was the brand. Then, in the nineties, visual effects became the brand. Now, the brand is the brand.’

SIMON KINBERG, producer of X-Men: First Class, in a New York magazine essay arguing that movie studios, once dependent on summer blockbusters with big-name actors and splashy special effects, are now content to coast on familiar-franchise reboots, sequels and prequels.

CELEBRITY IDIOCY

The Artist Formerly, Temporarily, Known As Diddy

P. Diddy, a.k.a. Puffy, a.k.a. Puff Daddy, a.k.a. King Combs, has changed his name to Swag (slang, as defined by the Urban Dictionary, for “appearance, style or the way he or she presents themselves”) for one week to promote his “comeback” from a severe bout of the flu. And we’re writing about it.

STELLAR SEND-OFF

Before bringing her eponymous talk show to a close on May 25, Oprah Winfrey celebrated her quarter-century run with a two-day event at Chicago’s United Center. On hand to see her off was a seemingly endless parade of celebs, including Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Beyoncé, Michael Jordan, Will Smith, Stevie Wonder, Aretha …

STYLE

Red State, Blue Box

If diamonds are a girl’s best friend, Callista Gingrich must have plenty. It was recently reported that her husband Newt–a Republican presidential hopeful and professed fiscal conservative–owed $250,001 to $500,000 to Tiffany & Co. in 2005 and 2006. Start your own Callista collection with these three items from the luxury jeweler

• Jean Schlumberger Apollo ear clips $22,000

• Jean Schlumberger rope ear clips $6,250

• Victoria Graduated necklace $45,000

VERBATIM

‘If school days are the happiest of your life, I’m hanging myself with my skip-rope tonight.’

JACQUELINE KENNEDY-ONASSIS, at the angsty age of 16, in a 1945 note to her boyfriend. A cache of unpublished Jackie O. love letters recently sold at auction for $134,500

INTERNET GENIUS

MacGyverpedia

Comprehensive nostalgia is one of the Internet’s greatest gifts. Just take a look at MacRecipes, a database compiled by information-design firm Fathom of every crazy ingredient used by 1980s TV action hero MacGyver. Here’s a twisty look at the many household items the secret agent used to create diversions:

Episode 1 matches • string • rifle Episode 4 firecrackers • candle • duct tape Episode 6 gas-soaked rag Episode 7 model airplane Episode 9 Buzz saw • vacuum • sawdust • wood chips Episode 10 tray with pots • pans sitting on bags of melting ice Episode 60 inflatable inner tube Episode 63 matches • rum Episode 81 walkie-talkie Episode 84 camera flash Episode 85 camera flash Episode 86 jewelry • cord Episode 95 whiskey • cigar Episode 101 kerosene lamp • trash can • fire extinguisher Episode 103 soft-drink machine Episode 121 steam hose • gravel Episode 140 string • armor • candle

ART

The Abstract Pope

It seems some Romans still prefer their art classical. A new sculpture of Pope John Paul II outside the Termini train station was panned by both residents and the Vatican for resembling “a tent,” “a bomb,” “Benito Mussolini”–anything but the late Pontiff.

5 THINGS YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS WEEK

1. The end of süperflüoüs ümlaüts in song titles.

Lady Gaga’s “Yoü and I” has broüght back the tradition.

2. The quality of Mark Burnett’s 10-hour Bible miniseries.

The producer of Survivor will know how to handle the banishment of Hagar.

3. American Idol’s geographic focus.

This season’s winner is from the Southeast. Again.

4. New ideas.

VH1’s Pop Up Videos is returning after 10 years away.

5. Misunderstanding Sarah Palin’s career.

A new Palin-sanctioned documentary hopes to set the record straight.