By Eric Barker
May 9, 2014

So you want to know how to make people like you? It’s easier than you think.

A while back I posted about how to master conversation skills. Here are 6 more research-backed tips:

1) Encourage people to talk about themselves

It gives their brain as much pleasure as food or money:

2) To Give Feedback, Ask Questions

If you use questions to guide people toward the errors in their thinking process and allow them to come up with the solution themselves, they’re less likely to feel threatened and more likely to follow through.

Via Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long:

Here’s more on feedback.

3) Ask for advice

Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer, persuasion expert Robert Cialdiniand many others have all recommended asking for advice as a powerful way to influence others and warm them to you.

Wharton professor Adam Grant breaks down the science behind it in his excellent book Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success:

4) The Two-Question Technique

Ask them about something positive in their life. Only after they reply should you ask them how they’re feeling about life in general.

Sounds silly but this method is based on research by Nobel Prize winning psychologist, Daniel Kahneman.

A positive answer on the first question will lead to them feeling more positive about their life in general when you ask the second question.

Via Thinking, Fast and Slow:

More on this powerful technique here.

5) Repeat The Last Three Words

I’ve posted before about the incredible power of active listening and how hostage negotiators use it to build rapport.

What’s the quick and dirty way to do active listening without training?

Social skills expert and author Leil Lowndes recommends simple repetition.

Via How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships:

It shows you’re listening, interested, and lets them get back to telling their story.

You’ve got to be slightly savvy about this one but it’s surprisingly effective.

Surprisingly effective?

Yes, it is.

It is?

Research shows repetition is effective in negotiations as well.

6) Gossip — But Positively

Research shows what you say about others colors how people see you.

Compliment other people and you’re likely to be seen positively. Complain and you’re likely to be associated with those negative traits you hate.

Via 59 Seconds: Change Your Life in Under a Minute:

Want more?

Here are the previous five conversation hacks.

Join 45K+ readers. Get a free weekly update via email here.

Related posts:

What are the four things that kill relationships?

“Nice guys finish last.” Really? What does the research say?

The top FBI hostage negotiator teaches you the 5 secrets to getting what you want

This piece originally appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

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