Your Cynicism Isn’t Helping Anybody

5 minute read
Ideas
Zaki, PhD., is a professor of psychology at Stanford University and the director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab. He is the author of Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness

When I describe “cynics,” you might conjure up a certain type of person: the toxic, smirking misanthrope, oozing contempt. But they are not a fixed category, like New Zealanders or anesthesiologists. Cynicism is a spectrum. We all have cynical moments, or in my case, cynical years.

Cynicism—the belief that all people are selfish, greedy, and dishonest—is a natural response to a world reeling from social division, rising sea levels, and countless other problems.  But that doesn’t mean it helps us.  Cynics suffer at basically every level scientists can measure. They experience more depression, earn less money, and even die younger than non-cynics.  Cynical communities also do worse, socially and economically. 

But despite the harm it causes, more people report being cynical now than in decades past.  Why?  One reason is our cultural norms.  These days, hope has been typecast as naïve or privileged, a way of ignoring our problems.  Cynicism, by contrast, seems wise and even moral.  But it turns out these beliefs are often backwards. 

Let’s deconstruct these myths, one at a time.

Myth: Cynicism is clever

What is the opposite of a cynic? That’s easy: a rube, chump, or mark, whose naive optimism sets them up for betrayal. This stereotype reveals what most people believe: that cynics are smarter than non-cynics.

Most people are wrong. In fact, cynics do worse on cognitive tests and have a harder time spotting liars than non-cynics. When we assume everyone is on the take, we don’t bother to explore what people are really like. Why? When someone has a blanket assumption about what everyone is like, they stop paying attention to signs about who can and cannot be trusted. They learn less about people, and can’t adapt to new situations. Gullible people might blindly trust others, but cynics blindly mistrust them.

Myth: Cynicism is safe

Every act of trust is a social gamble. When we place our money, secrets, or well-being in someone else’s hands, they have power over us. Most people who trust will get burned at some point. Those moments lodge themselves inside us, making us less likely to take chances again. By never trusting, cynics never lose.

Read More: Anne Lamott’s Advice Could Stop You From Drowning in Cynicism

They also never win. Refusing to trust anyone is like playing poker by folding every hand before it begins. Cynicism protects us from predators, but it also shuts down opportunities for collaboration, love, and community, all of which require trust. And though we forever remember people who hurt us, it’s harder to notice the friends we could have made if we’d been more open.

Myth: Cynicism is moral

Isn’t hope a privilege? Not everyone can afford to assume the best about people, especially if they have been harmed by a cruel system. In a world full of injustice, it may seem heartless to tell victims they should look on the bright side. Maybe optimists “hopewash” problems while cynics shed light on them.

This idea is intuitive, but backward. Cynicism does tune people in to what’s wrong, but it also forecloses on the possibility of anything better. There’s no way to change a broken system if it’s a mirror that reflects our broken nature. Why, then, do anything? At my most cynical, I felt morally paralyzed. I stopped volunteering and protesting, wondering why my more active friends even bothered. Other cynics tend to follow suit, sitting out elections and social movements more often than non-cynics.

But on the contrary, cynicism is not a radical worldview. It’s a tool of the status quo. This is useful to elites and propagandists sow distrust to better control people. Corrupt politicians gain cover by convincing voters that everyone is corrupt. Media companies trade in judgment and outrage. Our cynicism is their product, and business is booming.

Our beliefs influence how we treat other people, which shapes how they act in return. Thoughts change the world, and cynicism is turning ours into a meaner, sadder, sicker place. All of this is deeply unpopular. Americans trust one another less than before, but 79% of us also think people trust too little. We loathe political rivals, but more than 80% of us also fear how divided we’ve become. Most of us want a society built on compassion and connection, but cynicism convinces us that things will get worse no matter what we do.

So, we do nothing. And they worsen.

But we don’t have to keep falling for cynicism’s allure. We can see it for what it is—a psychological trap—and adopt new ways of thinking. Rejecting cynicism doesn’t mean being gullible or naïve. A powerful alternative is skepticism: a scientific mindset where we focus on evidence to decide who we can believe in. If cynicism is a lack of faith in people, skepticism is a lack of faith in our assumptions. It allows us to neither blindly trust or blindly mistrust others, and to learn about our social world in a more agile way.

Decades of science demonstrate that people don’t realize how caring, generous, and open minded others are.  Because of cynicism, the average person underestimates the average person.  Underneath that bad news is good news: If you pay closer attention, you’ll likely realize people are better than you think. Replacing cynicism with skepticism can bring us closer to the truth, and become more hopeful, too.

Adapted from Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness by Jamil Zaki, PhD, published by Hachette Book Group. Copyright © 2024 by Jamil Zaki. Reprinted courtesy of Grand Central Publishing.

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