Since the unexpected passing of their sister Cecilia Gentili, Victoria Von Blaque, a consultant at New York City-based firm Trans Equity Consulting, has not had a chance to process their grief.
“I kind of flinch when I hear her name,” they say. “It is still so raw.”
Gentili—a beloved transgender activist, artist, and founder of the consulting agency where Von Blaque currently works—passed away only four months ago, and has left an enduring mark on the lives of her family, who describe Gentili as “radiant,” “loving,” “hot as hell,” and above all: “Mother.” “I'm still processing a world without my sister, my best friend, my everything,” says LaLa Holston-Zannell, a senior campaign strategist at the ACLU. “Being a black trans woman, having someone that you can share everything without judgment, without asking anything of me, without using [their] power over me. [It] is a genuine love.”
Read More: Scenes From Trans Activist Cecilia Gentili’s Funeral as Mourners Fill St. Patrick’s Cathedral
Holston-Zannell and Von Blaque’s grieving journey, and that of many of Gentili’s loved ones, is also happening in the midst of the month-long, typically celebratory, season of Pride.
In her absence, many of Gentili’s family members say they haven’t been able to soak in this Pride month, which can already feel distanced from transgender and queer communities of color. “I'm old school. Pride was a protest. Pride was a rally. Pride was not a bunch of beautiful colors,” says Von Blaque. “Pride to me, it's just a reminder of the work that she has done, her true legacy.” Gentili’s passing also comes amidst an epidemic of violence against trans and gender non-conforming people in the U.S., and broader legislative efforts to limit access to healthcare, sports, and more.
Gentili is well-remembered as a spokesperson for various communities. Her advocacy on the legislative front led to the repeal of the “Walking While Trans” ban that barred loitering for the “purpose of prostitution,” which in practice unjustly targeted trans women of color. Gentili also helped launch the Coin Clinic, a free healthcare program for sex workers, and founded Transmission Fest, New York City’s first-ever trans music festival in 2023. On June 26, during the second iteration of the festival, Ali Forney Center, a nonprofit that protects LGBTQ+ youth from homelessness, announced a new house for trans youth that will have Gentili’s name.
“I think if Cecilia were here, she would want us to remember that at the core of Pride is community,” says Oscar Diaz, one of Cecilia’s daughters. “One of Cecilia’s biggest accomplishments…was her ability to use her voice and artistry as a tool for storytelling. And she utilized so many of her experiences as a trans woman, as an immigrant, as a sex worker, as someone who used drugs to be able to construct a world that was better for all of those, intersectional experiences.”
TIME spoke to Holston-Zannell, Von Blaque, and Diaz about their first pride season without Gentili, and how they—as well as the world—should continue to honor her work and legacy.
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Write to Kara Milstein at kara.milstein@time.com