--- title: Ashley Judd Honors Her Mom a Year After Naomi Judd's Suicide description: A year after Naomi Judd's suicide, Ashley Judd writes about grieving her mother and trying to honor her legacy. canonical: https://time.com/6275297/ashley-judd-naomi-judd-death-anniversary-grief/ author: Ashley Judd article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2023-04-30T11:00:34.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:51:15.260Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Ashley Judd: A Year of Grief and Learning Without My Mom og:description: "I have this week started to sit in sacred presence with her precious things." og:url: https://time.com/6275297/ashley-judd-naomi-judd-death-anniversary-grief/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltdf5e356df8820c94/698a3c57457a52bb87d6789a/naomi-judd-ashley-judd.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 2400 og:image:height: 1350 og:image:alt: APLA 6th Commitment to Life Concert Benefit og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Ashley Judd: A Year of Grief and Learning Without My Mom twitter:description: "I have this week started to sit in sacred presence with her precious things." twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltdf5e356df8820c94/698a3c57457a52bb87d6789a/naomi-judd-ashley-judd.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Ashley Judd: A Year of Grief and Learning Without My Mom > Sponsored content. 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A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-inside-2026q3/newsletters?i=4427f032-d28c-4c00-9596-83a69c26baca&cr=time-nl-inside-2026q3-v1) ## Video: TIME Person of the Year 2017: The Silence Breakers [Watch (HLS stream): TIME Person of the Year 2017: The Silence Breakers](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/jbtW5SvJ.m3u8) (5:02)  _Published 2017-12-06. For giving voice to open secrets, for moving whisper networks onto social networks, for pushing all of us to stop accepting the unacceptable, the Silence Breakers are the 2017 Person of the Year._ by [Ashley Judd](https://time.com/author/ashley-judd/) ## Ashley Judd Apr 30, 2023 11:00 AM UTC  Ashley Judd, Naomi Judd and Wynonna Judd ca. 1992. Ashley Judd, Naomi Judd and Wynonna Judd ca. 1992. Kevin Mazur—WireImage/Getty Images by [Ashley Judd](https://time.com/author/ashley-judd/) ## Ashley Judd Apr 30, 2023 11:00 AM UTC Jesus wept” – the shortest statement in the Bible. Lamentations – the only emotion for which a book in the Bible is named. What is being said here? Perhaps that we are destined to grieve. And grieve, I have. My mother died by suicide one year ago. Earlier this month, I walked through my first birthday without her, a rite of passage everyone experiences with the death of their parents. At the shop where Mom and I always selected our cards, I read the “To Daughter” birthday cards and imagined which one Mom would have given me: she always chose the gooiest and most expressive, underlined the parts she thought most meaningful, and of course, wrote by hand her own message addressed to “Sweetpea.” I felt her love as I read the card I imagined she would have picked. A beautiful ouch. And I remembered how every year on my special day, Mama would recount giving birth to me, sharing with the sweetest smile how she felt when she held me for the first time, what I smelled like, and what an easy baby I was. --- ### More from TIME --- **Read More:** [_TIME Person of the Year 2017: The Silence Breakers_](https://time.com/time-person-of-the-year-2017-silence-breakers/) I have this week started to sit in sacred presence with her precious things, to look at her strands of red hair in her brush, to hold a pretty dress she left half-zipped, to chuckle at the folded tissues she kept in every single pocket. I am studying the careful, lovely handwriting in which she recorded both the important and the trivial events of her life on Day-Timer calendars that date back to the early 1990s – when she was cured of hepatitis C, her first meeting with a new boyfriend of mine, her many hair appointments and interviews. These intimate exchanges with the private fortify me. They remind me of the interior landscape of my mother’s soul, the innocent God-scape that somehow remained untouched by the mental illness that marred her life. And they summon the welcoming sound of my mother’s voice pealing like bells whenever she saw me stride barefoot onto her back porch. They also make me grieve for the voice she lost when my Great Uncle Charlie sexually assaulted her when she was 4 years old, for the repeated harassment she endured in workplaces during her adulthood as she raised two girls as a single mom on low-wage jobs, the intimate partner violence she experienced, and a rape about which she wrote and spoke boldly. These assaults and violations, from which she never did heal, remained a source of unresolved agony and fed her mental illness. Yet she did her utmost to fight back with the skills she had. In conversation she declared [#MeToo](https://metoomvmt.org); in her journals she wrote it; and in collages she made in therapy she expressed her trauma in Technicolor. Mom and I spoke often of male violence, of how it is normalized, of the outrage we felt at knowing that the average age of entry into being [sexually trafficked (erroneously called “child prostitution”)](https://rights4girls.org) may be as low as 12 to 14 in this country. On her behalf, I will continue to be “audacious,” as she called me, in my full-hearted, full-throated fight for freedom from the male entitlement to female bodies. With April being not only the anniversary of her passing but also Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I will therefore accept in her honor the Lifetime Igniting Impact Award from the [World Without Exploitation,](https://www.worldwithoutexploitation.org) which works to create a world where no one is bought, sold, or exploited. I will continue to agitate for the [Equality Model](https://www.equalitymodelus.org), which advocates holding sex buyers, pimps, and brothel keepers accountable for their demand for vulnerable human bodies. People who support the[ full decriminalization of sex buying, brothel keeping, and pimping – ](https://www.equalitymodelny.org/%5Ffiles/ugd/fd0a1f%5Ff49fe82b834e4b98a508f0760f15287e.pdf)which has been proposed around the country – flummoxed Mom. That is part of my commitment to her legacy and one way in which to honor the depth of our relationship, both as her child and a fellow survivor. I will also channel my mother’s hallmark grit into my [advocacy for laws that protect the privacy](https://afsp.org/lifesavers-gala-2023) of families ravaged by death by suicide, and for more responsible reporting about the mental illness that drives people to such a drastic measure. It is neither ethical nor decent to[ publish](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jan/30/ashley-judd-naomi-judd-suicide-images-trauma) the kind of invasive details about death by suicide that appeared in print and on the internet after her death. All reporting on suicide needs to be medically accurate, evidence-based, cautious about contagions that activate and increase further self-harm ideation in readers and viewers, and informed by the guidelines established by the [American Foundation for Suicide Prevention](https://afsp.org). I will continue to fight for this, just as my mom fought against her unjust foe, which is why I will be addressing the [National Press Club ](https://www.press.org/events/npc-headliners-luncheon-ashley-judd)in May, and why my sister and I will be accepting the [Lifesaver Award](https://afsp.org/lifesavers-gala-2023) from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention for our commitment to destigmatizing mental illness and more. This is an award I would never have wanted to be given, yet one I will accept on my knees, bloody as they are from a year of falling, crawling, and getting back up again. Finally, on the anniversary of Mom’s being breathed into the infinite mercy of God, I am so grateful to learn that [Mercy Community Healthcare](https://mercytn.org) of Franklin, Tenn., is [naming their new mental-health facility in her memory.](https://www.globenewswire.com/news-release/2023/04/27/2656448/0/en/Mercy-Community-Healthcare-Announces-Naming-New-Mental-Health-Clinic-to-Honor-Naomi-Judd-s-Legacy.html) Mercy focuses on underserved folks and offers sliding-scale payments where necessary. It hurt Mom that people hurt and that they could not access the care she could. This would be a balm for her distressed mind and sweet soul. During this past year I have learned how I can make the irreplaceable loss of my mom serve her legacy. “Grief may be the most honest form of prayer,” [Franciscan Friar Richard Rohr](https://cac.org) muses. There is lament, and there is also meaning. Everything is put to use in God’s economy as the painful past can be transmuted into service for others. The Bible also says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” And indeed I have been comforted, by the work I’ve done to commemorate my mother, and by the many who also walk in and with grief and have shared theirs with me. Though no one can do our grief for us, it is also true that none of us need do it alone. _If you or someone you know may be experiencing a mental-health crisis or contemplating suicide, call or text 988\. In emergencies, call 911, or seek care from a local hospital or mental-health provider._ ## Transcript [ MUSIC ] We can't all be ****. We can't all be asking for it. I am here to give you permission to be angry. This reality might not have to be our reality anymore. I felt this crushing sense of powerlessness. This is the time to take my power back. Here's my story. Uber promises. Investigation into sexual harrassment. Fox News cutting its ties with Bill O'Reilley. I felt it was my duty for the women who are silent to be brave. It's okay to stand up for yourself. Taylor Swift appearing in court today. Harvey Weinstein, the New York- People forget a lot that there's a human behind this. Someone who was very hurt and wronged. [ MUSIC ] [ CROSSTALK ] I always thought maybe things could change for my daughter. I never thought things could change for me. [ MUSIC ] Honestly, I was furious. I have had a man grope me in front of multiple collegues and I was tired of wondering if it was something I wore, I was tired of wondering if it was a vibe I was giving off and when I talked to other women they were furious too >> I felt that if I can speak out, may be if I just stand up then someone else would stand up with me >> There wasn't a place For us to report these experiences. But I sure did talk about it a lot over the years. The least I could do was actually tell my own story and validate theirs for them in a way, just as I was hoping someone much bigger than me would help validate my story. And I knew that other women Would continue to apple for jobs there and that made me feel really uncomfortable. I was afraid of the retaliation, I know the power of patriarchy. I know what men can do when their angry. They did everything that they could to prevent me from raising my concerns further. They asked me if there were other girls, maybe that he has done this too and can I go get them. I had to show them that I wasn't lying And it's like they took me for a joke. And if they couldn't stop us from talking, well, they were gonna stop everybody from listening to us. People digging into my Instagram and pulling up sexy photos as if they kind of discredited me. Well, I've seen you in committee. You're really tough. Why didn't you just hit him? Why did you let it go on for so long? I was a smart young woman that had gone to college, that knew how to fight, and I still was manipulated and conned. I felt ashamed that I hadn't spoken out sooner, not having the strength earlier on to make it stop. The feeling of being humiliated as a woman And there's a point you think is it my fault? For so long I went around harboring this ridiculous belief that because I was a non white woman in my 20s, it was expected that I would have to be treated this way. We don't have to just live like this. Few things could change from my daughter I never thought things could change from me. I'm here to give you permission to be angry, people are afraid specially women where conditioned since birth to be polite. To be nice, to be kind, to be liked to not make waves. ****. We can't all be crazy, we can't all be ****, we can't all be asking for it. And I'm telling you that all the people who stand up, all the people who speak out you are teaching people how to treat and you should not be shamed for that. The shame is not ours to hold, the shame is on perpetrator. Me Too can be a conversation starter or it can be the whole conversation. It took away the power from the predator. And placed the power on the victim. And maybe, just maybe we would be able to get a glimpse at the magnitude of this problem. The amount of people sharing the stories with me is so intense. People that were complete strangers reached out to tell very personal stories. It's What they did with this and they did a lot and not only in France in Hong kong japanese. The most months >> I feel like the day that I spoke up and I said you are a sexual harasser I changed >> some of the. Things in the night. [ FOREIGN ]. It's an honor to be the person that hey I spoke up about this. I took on the risk. And I was very humbled and I was very proud. I'm very glad now that the story has been heard. It's a direct response to that arrogance and that show of power and [ UNKNOWN ]. A sense, we won't be silenced. 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