April 10, 2014

THE WEEK

UCONN WON U.S. COLLEGE BASKETBALL

101

Age in years of a message in a bottle found in Germany; it was given to the sender’s granddaughter

‘You get a freebie question for the ridiculousness of that question.’

RAHM EMANUEL, Chicago mayor, to a New Republic reporter who asked whether he wished he had been in D.C. to help manage the botched HealthCare.gov launch

FedEx

Tasked with transporting a valuable T. rex skeleton to the Smithsonian

GOOD WEEK

BAD WEEK

UPS

Criticized for threatening to fire 250 protesting workers

‘I wake up every morning and you’re the first people … I pray for.’

OSCAR PISTORIUS, South African track star, apologizing to the family of former girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp; he’s currently on trial for her murder

$36 million

Amount a rare cup from the Ming dynasty fetched at auction in Hong Kong; it’s the priciest piece of Chinese porcelain ever sold

‘He was just stabbing everybody that was in his way.’

GRACEY EVANS, student at Franklin Regional Senior High School, where authorities said another student went on a stabbing spree, injuring at least 20 people

‘We must prepare ourselves for possible further provocative acts.’

PARK GEUN-HYE, South Korean President, calling for heightened vigilance in relations with North Korea after several of its drones were suspected of flying south

75,000

Approximate weight, in pounds (34,000 kg), of the chicken nuggets recalled by Tyson Foods because of possible plastic contamination

‘Don’t paint your wife.’

GEORGE W. BUSH, former U.S. President, when asked what he has learned during his newfound brush with artistry

Sources: New Republic; Washington Post; USA Today; AFP; Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Contact us at editors@time.com.

This appears in the April 21, 2014 issue of TIME.

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