--- title: Here's Why Holding a Grudge Can Be a Good Thing description: In "How to Hold a Grudge," author Sophie Hannah explains why you should hold grudges and how they can actually benefit your relationships. canonical: https://time.com/5492160/how-to-hold-a-grudge/ author: Annabel Gutterman article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2019-01-03T18:38:19.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T08:58:07.678Z og:title: Why Holding a Grudge Can Actually Be a Good Thing og:description: Start off 2019 with a healthy dose of stubbornness og:url: https://time.com/5492160/how-to-hold-a-grudge/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt6035cde175286dcc/69894287ab6d7736b06b48ae/grudge-fist.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: Grudge-Fist og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Why Holding a Grudge Can Actually Be a Good Thing twitter:description: Start off 2019 with a healthy dose of stubbornness twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt6035cde175286dcc/69894287ab6d7736b06b48ae/grudge-fist.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Why Holding a Grudge Can Actually Be a Good Thing  by [Annabel Gutterman](/author/annabel-gutterman/)  ## Annabel Gutterman Senior Editor Jan 3, 2019 6:38 PM CUT  PhotoAlto/Frederic Cirou—Getty Images/PhotoAlto  by [Annabel Gutterman](/author/annabel-gutterman/)  ## Annabel Gutterman Senior Editor Jan 3, 2019 6:38 PM CUT Too often, we’re told that to start fresh in the new year, we first need to find closure. Instead, British writer Sophie Hannah argues, we should embrace some healthy stubbornness. Hannah, author of [_How to Hold a Grudge_](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1982111429/ref=as%5Fli%5Fqf%5Fasin%5Fil%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=time037-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=1982111429&linkId=9e0a57dc9154343ec622bddcb4ff6ec1 "undefined"), wants you to start keeping a grudge budget — she’s called it a “grudget” — wherein you can decide which grudges are valuable to you and invest in them accordingly. “A [grudge](http://healthland.time.com/2011/08/18/5-ways-to-let-go-of-a-grudge/ "undefined") doesn’t have to be vengeful, all-consuming and bitter,” Hannah writes — so start thinking about grudges as a way to find power in bad memories. Throughout chapters chronicling [grudges](http://healthland.time.com/2011/03/08/romantic-partners-who-hold-a-grudge-can-blame-it-on-mom/ "undefined") from history, pop culture and her own life, Hannah offers sage advice on how to classify and intensely analyze grudges. She wants to make you better equipped to assess the significance of the person who imposes on you, the person whose politics don’t align with yours and the person who constantly underestimates your abilities, among others — so when someone tells you that you’re overreacting and should move on, you can push back. It may be all the wiser not to simply forgive and forget. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/5492160/how-to-hold-a-grudge/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/5492160/how-to-hold-a-grudge/"},"headline":"Why Holding a Grudge Can Actually Be a Good Thing","datePublished":"2019-01-03T18:38:19.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T08:58:07.678Z","description":"Start off 2019 with a healthy dose of stubbornness","url":"https://time.com/5492160/how-to-hold-a-grudge/","keywords":["Living","Books","emotions"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt6035cde175286dcc/69894287ab6d7736b06b48ae/grudge-fist.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Annabel Gutterman","jobTitle":"Senior Editor","url":"https://time.com/author/annabel-gutterman/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt6035cde175286dcc/69894287ab6d7736b06b48ae/grudge-fist.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"Grudge-Fist","caption":"Businessman pounding fist on table","creditText":"PhotoAlto/Frederic Cirou—Getty Images/PhotoAlto","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/time-section-living/","name":"Living"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/5492160/how-to-hold-a-grudge/","name":"Why Holding a Grudge Can Actually Be a Good Thing"}}]}] ```