For many, Barack and Michelle Obama‘s nearly-three decades long romance is the ultimate relationship goals, but the former First Lady wants people to know that a good marriage and partnership takes work — and that it’s not wrong to ask for help when you need it.
In an interview with Good Morning America’s Robin Roberts, Obama shared that she and the former president have gotten marriage counseling in the past to help “talk out our differences.”
“I know too many young couples who struggle and think somehow, there’s something wrong with them,” Obama said. “I want them to know that Michelle and Barack Obama — who have a phenomenal marriage and who love each other — we work on our marriage and we get help with our marriage when we need it.”
Obama also shared how while it may seem that marriage is “supposed to be easy,” it is also an opportunity to learn about not only your partner, but yourself.
“What I learned about myself was that my happiness was up to me and I started working out more, I started asking for help, not just from him but from other people,” she said. “I stopped feeling guilty.”
Watch the Michelle Obama Good Morning America interview below.
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Write to Cady Lang at cady.lang@timemagazine.com