--- title: White House Uses John Kelly's Dead Son to Criticize Obama description: President Trump doubled down on his assertion that his predecessor didn't call the families of fallen soldiers canonical: https://time.com/4985991/donald-trump-john-kelly-son-death/ author: Alana Abramson article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2017-10-17T18:34:21.000Z article:modified_time: 2023-12-13T02:30:57.000Z article:section: Politics og:title: The White House Is Using John Kelly's Dead Son to Criticize Obama og:description: "You could ask General Kelly did he get a call from Obama" og:url: https://time.com/4985991/donald-trump-john-kelly-son-death/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc789e61576dc2262/6988e1cce76ad20b5962f8a1/trump-iran-deal2.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 2873 og:image:height: 1616 og:image:alt: Trump Iran Deal og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: The White House Is Using John Kelly's Dead Son to Criticize Obama twitter:description: "You could ask General Kelly did he get a call from Obama" twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc789e61576dc2262/6988e1cce76ad20b5962f8a1/trump-iran-deal2.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # The White House Is Using John Kelly's Dead Son to Criticize Obama > Sponsored content. 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It explains the politics, personalities and power dynamics behind the headlines, twice a week. #### Where can I get analysis of Washington politics by email? D.C. Brief is TIME's free Washington politics newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. It is written by a TIME senior correspondent who covers the capital full time. #### Who writes TIME's D.C. Brief? Philip Elliott, a senior correspondent at TIME, writes D.C. Brief. #### Is D.C. Brief free? Yes. D.C. Brief is free at time.com/newsletters. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-dcbrief-2026q3/newsletters?i=9364f446-13be-4dc4-8892-4fba270ea95c&cr=time-nl-dcbrief-2026q3-v1) ## Video: President Trump Claimed Obama Didn’t Call the Families of Dead Soldiers [Watch (HLS stream): President Trump Claimed Obama Didn’t Call the Families of Dead Soldiers](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/6y9Mq05u.m3u8) (1:38)  _Published 2017-10-16. President Donald Trump falsely said Monday that his predecessor had never called the families of U.S. soldiers killed in the line of duty overseas, a claim he quickly walked back after he was corrected_  by [Alana Abramson](https://time.com/author/alana-abramson/)  ## Alana Abramson Updated: Dec 13, 2023 2:30 AM UTCPublished: Oct 17, 2017 6:34 PM UTC  by [Alana Abramson](https://time.com/author/alana-abramson/)  ## Alana Abramson Updated: Dec 13, 2023 2:30 AM UTCPublished: Oct 17, 2017 6:34 PM UTC President Trump doubled down on his assertion that his predecessor didn’t call the families of fallen soldiers, citing the death of his chief of staff’s son in Afghanistan. Speaking with Fox News’ Brian Kilmeade on Tuesday, Trump again suggested that President Obama didn’t call military families, a claim that members of the Obama Administration had rebutted. He then referenced White House Chief of Staff [John Kelly’s](http://time.com/4895137/why-john-kelly-is-president-trumps-last-hope/) son, Robert Michael Kelly, [who was killed in Afghanistan](http://articles.latimes.com/2010/nov/22/world/la-fg-marine-burial-20101123) in 2010 at the age of 29. “Now, as far as other representatives, I don’t know. I mean, you could ask General Kelly did he get a call from Obama,” he continued. “You could ask other people, I don’t know what Obama’s policy was. I write letters and I also call.” The remarks thrust Kelly’s son in the spotlight, leading to [multiple](https://twitter.com/jeffzeleny/status/920323590054137856) [stories](https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-ask-gen-kelly-if-obama-called-when-his-son-n811446) about Obama’s response to Kelly’s loss. Obama’s office declined to comment. But in May 2011, the Obamas held a breakfast for Gold Star families who had lost soldiers overseas. A person familiar with the breakfast confirmed to _TIME_ that Kelly and his wife sat with then-First Lady Michelle Obama at the event. In the past, Kelly has avoided talking about his son’s death, [telling a Marine officer introducing him](https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/lt-gen-john-kelly-who-lost-son-to-war-says-us-largely-unaware-of-sacrifice/2016/12/07/b269fb7a-3eb1-11e0-bc13-e0b46ef0ad9a%5Fstory.html?utm%5Fterm=.5015cb89cd95) in a speech not to mention it and writing to the Washington _Post_ that he did not want to draw too much attention to it. “We are only one of 5,500 American families who have suffered the loss of a child in this war,” he wrote in an e-mail to the _Post_ for that article. “The death of my boy simply cannot be made to seem any more tragic than the others.” He had a similar response to the [Boston _Globe_](https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2011/11/11/general-reflects-war-and-loss/54D5ml0mW2hOnK1I1cDZAN/story.html). “We are not inclined to make ourselves out to be any different, just because I’m a lieutenant general in the Marines,” he said. Trump made the initial claim that Obama did not call the families of fallen soldiers when he was asked if he was going to call the four U.S. Army special operations commandos killed [in an ambush in Niger ](http://time.com/4970079/niger-us-deaths-commandos-army/)earlier this month. Tuesday evening, the White House said that Trump had placed these calls to the family members and offered his condolences. ## Transcript I will at some point during the period of time called the parents and the families, cuz I have done that traditionally. I felt very, very badly about that. I'll always feel bad. It's the toughest calls I have to make are the calls where this happens, soldiers are killed. It's a very difficult thing. Now it gets to a point where you make four or five of them in one day, it's a very, very tough day. For me, that's by far the toughest. So the traditional way, if you look at President Obama, and other presidents, most of them didn't make calls. A lot of them didn't make calls. I like to call when it's appropriate, when I think I'm Able to do it. They have made the ultimate sacrifice. So generally I would say that I like to call. I'm going to be calling them. I want a little time to pass. I'm going to be calling them. Earlier you said that President Obama never called the families of fallen soldiers. How can you make that claim? I don't know if he did. No, no, no. I was told that he didn't know, and a lot of Presidents don't. They write letters. What I do, excuse me, Peter. I do a combination of both. Sometimes it's a very difficult thing to do, but I do a combination of both. President Obama, I think probably did sometimes, and maybe sometimes he didn't. I don't know, that's what I was told. All I can do is ask my generals. Other presidents did not call, they'd write letters, and some presidents didn't do anything. But I like, when I can, the combination of a call and also a letter. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4985991/donald-trump-john-kelly-son-death/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4985991/donald-trump-john-kelly-son-death/"},"headline":"The White House Is Using John Kelly's Dead Son to Criticize Obama","datePublished":"2017-10-17T18:34:21.000Z","dateModified":"2023-12-13T02:30:57.000Z","description":"\"You could ask General Kelly did he get a call from Obama\"","url":"https://time.com/4985991/donald-trump-john-kelly-son-death/","keywords":["Donald Trump","Military","White House","onetime","john kelly"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc789e61576dc2262/6988e1cce76ad20b5962f8a1/trump-iran-deal2.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Alana Abramson","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/alana-abramson/"}],"articleSection":"Politics","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltc789e61576dc2262/6988e1cce76ad20b5962f8a1/trump-iran-deal2.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"Trump Iran Deal","caption":"Trump Iran Deal","creditText":"ALEX EDELMAN—AFP/Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/politics/","name":"Politics"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/donald-trump/","name":"Donald Trump"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4985991/donald-trump-john-kelly-son-death/","name":"The White House Is Using John Kelly's Dead Son to Criticize Obama"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"President Trump Claimed Obama Didn’t Call the Families of Dead Soldiers","description":"President Donald Trump falsely said Monday that his predecessor had never called the families of U.S. soldiers killed in the line of duty overseas, a claim he quickly walked back after he was corrected","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/6y9Mq05u/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2017-10-16T20:01:01.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/6y9Mq05u.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/4985991/donald-trump-john-kelly-son-death/","duration":"PT1M38S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/4985991/donald-trump-john-kelly-son-death/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```