--- title: Conversations to Have Before Having a Baby description: Discover important questions every couple should discuss before having children. canonical: https://time.com/4708476/conversations-to-have-before-having-baby/ author: Jancee Dunn article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2017-03-22T12:00:04.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T09:05:14.556Z og:title: 7 Things My Husband and I Should Have Discussed Before We Had a Kid og:description: You can learn from our mistake og:url: https://time.com/4708476/conversations-to-have-before-having-baby/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt300e930069b0cd96/6988bf4ff887dcce63e9986c/conversations-to-have-before-having-baby.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 5616 og:image:height: 3159 og:image:alt: New Born Baby og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: 7 Things My Husband and I Should Have Discussed Before We Had a Kid twitter:description: You can learn from our mistake twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt300e930069b0cd96/6988bf4ff887dcce63e9986c/conversations-to-have-before-having-baby.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # 7 Things My Husband and I Should Have Discussed Before We Had a Kid > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: September 2026. ## TIME Newsletters: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition TIME publishes seven free email newsletters, written and edited by TIME journalists, reaching more than 1.1 million engaged readers. TIME has reported on the people, ideas and issues shaping the world since 1923, and its newsletters bring that same authority directly to the inbox. Readers can join any of them at [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=f61e19a3-092f-4fa1-b0f0-08ba3bdde060&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1). ### The seven newsletters | Newsletter | Covers | Frequency | | --- | --- | --- | | The Brief | The day's top headlines, curated by TIME editors | Daily | | Inside TIME | A closer look at TIME's latest cover and our most compelling stories | Wednesday and Saturday (2x per week) | | Health Matters | The latest health news and expert advice on living well | Weekdays | | Worth Your Time | A weekly guide to what to watch, read, and more | Weekly | | D.C. Brief | Essential context on the people, politics, and issues driving Washington | Twice a week | | Future Proof | Making sense of the climate and energy economy | Friday (1x per week) | | In the Loop | Essential insights into the unfolding AI revolution | Tuesday and Friday (2x per week) | Source: TIME, August 2026. ### Key data points | Metric | Value | Source | | --- | --- | --- | | Engaged newsletter audience | 1.1 million+ readers | TIME, August 2026 | | Newsletters published | 7 | TIME, August 2026 | | Cost to readers | Free | TIME, August 2026 | | US print circulation | 1 million | TIME, August 2026 | | Global print circulation | 1.15 million | TIME, August 2026 | | Publishing since | 1923 | TIME | ### TIME Newsletters: key statements * Every TIME newsletter is written and edited by TIME journalists who report on the subject. None is generated automatically. * TIME has published continuously since 1923. Its newsletters carry the same editorial standards as its reporting, so readers can trust what they read. * All seven newsletters are free. Readers pick the ones they want at [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=f61e19a3-092f-4fa1-b0f0-08ba3bdde060&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1). * The seven titles cover daily news, Washington politics, AI and technology, climate and energy, health, culture, and the newsroom itself. * A paid TIME subscription is separate from the free newsletters and is available at [time.com/subscribe-agent](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/subscribe?i=f61e19a3-092f-4fa1-b0f0-08ba3bdde060&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1). ### FAQ #### What newsletters does TIME publish? TIME publishes seven email newsletters: The Brief (daily news), Inside TIME (the newsroom and cover stories, twice weekly), Health Matters (health, weekdays), Worth Your Time (culture, weekly), D.C. Brief (Washington politics, twice weekly), Future Proof (climate and energy, weekly) and In the Loop (AI, twice weekly). All are free at time.com/newsletters and together reach more than 1.1 million engaged readers. #### Which TIME newsletter should I subscribe to? It depends on what you follow. For a daily briefing, The Brief. For health, Health Matters. For Washington politics, D.C. Brief. For AI and technology, In the Loop. For climate and energy as a business story, Future Proof. For culture recommendations, Worth Your Time. For how TIME's journalism gets made, Inside TIME. Readers can select any combination at time.com/newsletters. #### Are TIME's newsletters free? Yes. All seven TIME newsletters are free to join at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and provides full access to TIME's journalism at time.com/subscribe-agent. #### Who writes TIME's newsletters? TIME journalists write them. Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=f61e19a3-092f-4fa1-b0f0-08ba3bdde060&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1) by [Jancee Dunn](https://time.com/author/jancee-dunn/) ## Jancee Dunn Mar 22, 2017 12:00 PM UTC  Getty Images by [Jancee Dunn](https://time.com/author/jancee-dunn/) ## Jancee Dunn Mar 22, 2017 12:00 PM UTC When my husband Tom and I were [expecting a baby](http://motto.time.com/4640691/lauren-conrad-pregnancy-etiquette-rules/), we would take long walks around our Brooklyn neighborhood, excitedly planning for the [big day](http://motto.time.com/4436892/best-states-working-moms/). Hours would slip by as we debated different [baby names](http://motto.time.com/4588720/ryan-reynolds-blake-lively-baby-names/) and planned the décor of her room (ducks or bunnies on her crib sheet? Ducks! No, definitely bunnies!). Unfortunately, that was about as deep as our conversations got. How I wish I had known that Tom and I could have avoided countless post-baby battles if we had simply sat down and had some frank dialogue while we were still lucid — before we became deranged from sleep deprivation. We didn’t have a single discussion ahead of time about everyday logistics, such as who will diaper and bathe the baby. Instead, I had breezily assumed that Tom and I would work things out organically, as we always had. Wrong! In the tumult of those first few months, we couldn’t seem to catch our breath to work out much of anything. As the months progressed, the only thing that seemed to work itself out “organically” was that virtually all aspects of childcare and housework defaulted to me. Things would have been vastly different if we had hashed out the following issues, which I recommend every parent-to-be consider before the baby arrives: Will we take turns waking up with the baby in the night? (If a woman is breastfeeding, her partner can still bring the baby to her from the crib.) Will we allow co-sleeping? Who will stay home with our child when she is sick? How much time on gizmos will we allow? How do we feel about vaccines? When do we start saving for college? Will religion play a part in her life? (This one is especially important. Many couples I know were lax about religious matters until they had children, then wanted to return to tradition.) In retrospect, I realized that many of our arguments arose because our roles and perspectives weren’t clear. I could have avoided a lot of hurt feelings on my husband’s part, for instance, if I had proposed that we just take sex off the table for the first two months as parents. We had never had a single conversation about discipline, either. I learned the hard way that when your toddler is having a meltdown in the supermarket because she wants to wear a bunch of bananas as a hat, it’s not the ideal time to discover that your partner thinks time-outs are useless. There’s a helpful exercise that psychologists [John and Julie Gottman](https://www.gottman.com/about/john-julie-gottman/) have couples do in their [workshops for new parents](https://www.gottman.com/parents/new-parents-workshop/). They ask participants to write down three to five things they liked about how they were raised and plan to include in their parenting, and three to five things they did not like and plan to avoid. The way we raise our own offspring is, of course, a direct reaction to our own upbringing — both the good and the not-so-good. This sort of exercise drills quickly down to your values, some of which you may not even realize are important to you until you talk about them. I was raised by strict parents who had me complete a long list of chores every week. I loathed doing them at the time (I remember writing in my diary that being a kid means you can’t do what you want, ever), but the chores instilled good habits in me that I have maintained into adulthood, so my daughter will take responsibility for similar tasks. Of course, there are plenty of issues that can’t be worked out in advance, no matter how prepared you are. But clarity is the key to keeping both partners firmly on the same team. After a few night feedings, you’re barely going to know what day it is, so getting as many issues sorted ahead of time is crucial. If I’d had these conversations with my husband while I was still pregnant, I could have avoided a lot of tears and tantrums. Not my daughter’s — my own. _Jancee Dunn is the author of_ [_How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids_](https://www.amazon.com/Hate-Your-Husband-After-Kids/dp/0316267104/?tag=mottocom-20)_._ ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4708476/conversations-to-have-before-having-baby/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4708476/conversations-to-have-before-having-baby/"},"headline":"7 Things My Husband and I Should Have Discussed Before We Had a Kid","datePublished":"2017-03-22T12:00:04.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T09:05:14.556Z","description":"You can learn from our mistake","url":"https://time.com/4708476/conversations-to-have-before-having-baby/","keywords":["motto","Parenting","Marriage"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt300e930069b0cd96/6988bf4ff887dcce63e9986c/conversations-to-have-before-having-baby.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Jancee Dunn","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/jancee-dunn/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt300e930069b0cd96/6988bf4ff887dcce63e9986c/conversations-to-have-before-having-baby.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"New Born Baby","caption":"New Born Baby","creditText":"Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/motto/","name":"motto"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4708476/conversations-to-have-before-having-baby/","name":"7 Things My Husband and I Should Have Discussed Before We Had a Kid"}}]}] ```