--- ---  # Rewriting the Rules of Womanhood in _The Rules Do Not Apply_  by [Eliana Dockterman](https://time.com/author/eliana-dockterman/)  ## Eliana Dockterman Correspondent Mar 16, 2017 10:26 AM UTC   by [Eliana Dockterman](https://time.com/author/eliana-dockterman/)  ## Eliana Dockterman Correspondent Mar 16, 2017 10:26 AM UTC Never has trying to “[have it all](http://motto.time.com/4202685/kirsten-gillibrand-women-work/)” felt as visceral as it does in _The New Yorker_ writer Ariel Levy’s memoir, [_The Rules Do Not Apply_](https://www.amazon.com/dp/0812996933/?tag=timecom-20). A member of the first generation of women told they could do anything, Levy, now 42, spent her 20s and 30s consumed by wanderlust, evading the claustrophobia of monogamy and motherhood: “To become a mother, I feared, was to relinquish your status as the protagonist of your own life.” As a result of her nomadic existence, she cheats on the woman she marries. But after watching a friend struggle to get pregnant, Levy realizes she could lose the opportunity to have a family she didn’t know she wanted. “My life had been an ugly, roiling mess, but I was going to pull it all together at the last minute.” Enamored with the idea of being a pregnant correspondent, she travels to Mongolia for work. In short order, she loses baby, spouse and house. Levy confronts a harsh truth for women with control and choice: we lay claim to everything, but the universe is often indifferent to our demands. Rewriting the Rules of Womanhood in 'The Rules Do Not Apply' ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4703307/rewriting-the-rules-of-womanhood/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4703307/rewriting-the-rules-of-womanhood/"},"headline":"Rewriting the Rules of Womanhood in The Rules Do Not Apply","datePublished":"2017-03-16T10:26:44.000Z","dateModified":"2026-02-23T03:52:05.799Z","description":"Levy confronts a harsh truth for women with control and choice: we lay claim to everything, but the universe is often indifferent.","url":"https://time.com/4703307/rewriting-the-rules-of-womanhood/","keywords":["Books"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltfc6f3d06652d2258/6988bea88e0601c552469955/170327091398.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Eliana Dockterman","jobTitle":"Correspondent","url":"https://time.com/author/eliana-dockterman/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltfc6f3d06652d2258/6988bea88e0601c552469955/170327091398.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"the-rules-do-not-apply","caption":"the-rules-do-not-apply","creditText":"","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/books/","name":"Books"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4703307/rewriting-the-rules-of-womanhood/","name":"Rewriting the Rules of Womanhood in The Rules Do Not Apply"}}]}] ```