How to Find Your Soulmate With an Attitude Change

February 23, 2017 9:30 AM EST

Ever wonder why you haven’t met yours yet?

I was talking with a friend recently, and she was complaining about the fact that she felt sick and tired of being single and that there are no good men left. She followed that statement with a heavy sigh and a few choice expletives.

I asked her why she was in such a hurry to meet someone, and why she couldn’t just enjoy being single right now?

She said that everyone she knows is married and that she really wants to have children. Her 40th birthday is creeping up fast, and she’s afraid that men only want women in their 20’s. She’s also deathly afraid of spending the rest of her life alone and never finding her soulmate.

Can you hear all the judgment and irrational beliefs that she spewed out of her mouth?

“I’m too old.”

“Men are bad.”

“I’m all alone.”

“I’m never going to get what I want.”

“Being single sucks.”

“If only I had someone, then my life would be better — and then I’d be happy.”

Ever hear words like these coming out of your own mouth?

Let’s imagine that she did meet someone right now. If you believe in the Law of Attraction, which simply states that “like attracts like,” you’ll agree that as long as she remains in this almost apathetic place, she’s to attract a man who is full of judgments and insecurities, too!

I told her it was time to find a different point of view about her current situation.

Here are the three steps she — and you! — can follow, starting right now:

1. Be more gentle with yourself about your current relationship status.

You will get what you want and you need to own that! You need to know and believe with every fiber of your being you WILL find your soulmate.

2. Get very clear about what you want to experience in your relationship.

Daydream about what it would feel like if your soulmate was here now.

What things would you be doing together? What would you be talking about?

3. Think about the conversations you could start having that would align with what you desire.

How about, “I am excited about my soulmate — who is on his/her way to me now.”

Or, “I love my life now and am looking forward to sharing my awesome life with my soulmate!”

Having someone in your life to support you in staying on track is also extremely beneficial.

When I shared this relationship advice with my friend, she started feeling hopeful again.

She began to feel excited about what was possible and felt like she can be OK with still being single, because she now knows that her soulmate is on his way to her even as we speak!

Kelly Ann Garnett is a Certified Love Attraction Coach, Certified Life Coach, spiritual psychologist and educator who understands the deep desire and longing for a Soulmate — and what it takes to stay loyal to yourself as you journey toward each other. Visit her website for more information about how she can help you on your path.

This article originally appeared on YourTango.com

MOTTO hosts provocative voices and influencers from various spheres. We welcome outside contributions. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of our editors.

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