Lauren Holiday, a two-time Olympic gold medalist and retired U.S. national soccer team player, has opened up about her struggle coping with a benign brain tumor meningioma diagnosed six months into her pregnancy with daughter Jrue Tyler.
“I have never quite known suffering like I experienced the last 6 months,” she wrote on Instagram on Sunday, about five months after the tumor was removed. “I can remember countless nights repeating ‘there may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning.’ I remember half believing it and half still in disbelief that this was my life. I memorized scripture and some days my faith felt unshakable and others I was scared to death. Every time I see this smile I’m reminded that joy does come in the morning. Maybe not the next day, maybe not even the next month but it comes.”
Her husband Jrue Holiday, point guard for NBA basketball team the New Orleans Pelicans, took a leave of absence in September to see his wife through her recovery.
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Write to Olivia B. Waxman at olivia.waxman@time.com