By Megan McCluskey
October 31, 2016

Adele is famously private, preferring to keep her personal life — specifically her relationships with longtime boyfriend Simon Konecki and their son Angelo — separate from her life as an international superstar. But in a new profile for Vanity Fair, the 28-year-old singer opened up about the years she spent largely removed from the public eye between albums 21 and 25, discussing her battle with postpartum depression and how having a child changed her life. “I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me,” the singer told Vanity Fair, and went on to elaborate.

“My knowledge of postpartum — or postnatal, as we call it in England — is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job,” she said. “But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life … It can come in many different forms.”

And although she has since recovered from her bout with the depressive condition, she said she still struggles with maintaining a work-life balance that feels right to her. “I’m enjoying touring, but at times I feel guilty because I’m doing this massive tour, and even though my son is with me all the time, on certain nights I can’t put him to bed,” she explained. “I never feel guilty when I’m not working. You’re constantly trying to make up for stuff when you’re a mom. I don’t mind, because of the love I feel for him … I don’t care if I don’t ever get to do anything for myself again.”

Read more at VanityFair.com.

Write to Megan McCluskey at megan.mccluskey@time.com.

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