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Adele performs at The Palace of Auburn Hills in Auburn Hills, Mich., on Sept. 6, 2016.
Scott Legato—Getty Images for BT PR

Adele is famously private, preferring to keep her personal life — specifically her relationships with longtime boyfriend Simon Konecki and their son Angelo — separate from her life as an international superstar. But in a new profile for Vanity Fair, the 28-year-old singer opened up about the years she spent largely removed from the public eye between albums 21 and 25, discussing her battle with postpartum depression and how having a child changed her life. “I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me,” the singer told Vanity Fair, and went on to elaborate.

“My knowledge of postpartum — or postnatal, as we call it in England — is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job,” she said. “But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life … It can come in many different forms.”

And although she has since recovered from her bout with the depressive condition, she said she still struggles with maintaining a work-life balance that feels right to her. “I’m enjoying touring, but at times I feel guilty because I’m doing this massive tour, and even though my son is with me all the time, on certain nights I can’t put him to bed,” she explained. “I never feel guilty when I’m not working. You’re constantly trying to make up for stuff when you’re a mom. I don’t mind, because of the love I feel for him … I don’t care if I don’t ever get to do anything for myself again.”

Read more at VanityFair.com.

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Write to Megan McCluskey at megan.mccluskey@time.com.

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