By Olivia B. Waxman
April 1, 2014

As NewsFeed has been compiling its annual list of the best April Fools’ pranks pulled by major companies, from edible pizza boxes to a networking platform for cats, we have also been daydreaming about the pranks that should have been pulled today, such as:

Oculus Ruff: Oculus Rift headset for dogs, which plays videos designed to keep dogs entertained while their owners are out of the house.

Timber: In Tinder’s new app for lumberjacks, users saw right and left instead of swiping right and left.

Napchat: Snapchat sends out photos of people drifting off in unlikely places around the world.

Insta-graham Crackers: A new Instagram feature that prints photos onto graham crackers.

Chartbeet: Chartbeat rolls out a real-time analytics software for vegetarian clients.

Surfborts: At midnight, inspired by the lyric in her song “Drunk in Love,” the pop star Beyoncé quietly debuts a line of surfboards called surfborts with accompanying music videos of Blue Ivy flawlessly catching waves.

Reality Tear-V: Live television of someone cutting an onion for 29 hours straight, sponsored by The Onion and Norway’s national broadcasting service NRK, which has been known for airing slow-going shows like 18 hours of salmon swimming upstream.

MORE: Now You Can Print Instagram Photos onto Marshmallows

Write to Olivia B. Waxman at olivia.waxman@time.com.

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