Carrie Underwood Admits She Feels Guilty Asking for Parenting Help

Carrie Underwood is embracing the wonders — and challenges — that come with motherhood.

The country star talked to Redbook about how 19-month-old Isaiah Michael — her son with husband Mike Fisher — changed her life.

“I definitely feel like it’s changed me as a person,” Underwood, 33, says in the cover story of the magazine’s November issue.

“I’m happier. I’m in a better mood a lot of the time. He’ll be watching cartoons and I’ll be watching him. I’m completely in love. I love it when he’s sleepy and I get to hold him and smell him. He doesn’t know I’m staring at him and being all googly-eyed!”

And while she loves seeing all of her son’s milestones, the proud mom says raising her baby boy is a constant learning process.

“Ask for help,” she advises other moms, adding, “Accepting help is hard for me, but I’m learning. Sometimes I feel guilty that this is my son’s life: We live on a bus and we’re in a hotel room and sometimes we’re in the middle of nowhere and it’s not so great. It’s not all glamorous.”

She continues, “We have a nanny who helps out, especially when we’re on the road. But I’d feel guilty asking someone to watch him at home while I run to the grocery store.”

Underwood says balancing her family and being on the road for her tour is difficult, but doable.

“When I was pregnant, I thought, How am I going to go on the road? How am I going to keep doing my job?” she says. “I had to just give it to God and stop worrying about it. Sure enough, we figured it out.”

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This article originally appeared on People.com