Let’s All Stop Feeling Bad for Drake Because He Finally Got a Kiss From Rihanna

The narrative of Drake appearing to pine for Rihanna is a tale as old as time, but Rihanna finally kissed Drake during a concert in Miami on Wednesday night.

Let’s take a look at the facts on the ground. Longsuffering, emotionally sensitive boy loves girl who is possibly too cool. But there is chemistry and there is ardent hope and there are unabashed, sincere declarations of true love on the part of the romantic boy. They collaborate on tons of hit songs that include music videos that necessitate making out with each other, and generally behaving in a couple-like manner, which might add to the boy’s optimism.

This went on for nearly a decade, which you can read about in excruciating detail here, until all of the events of the past ten years came to a head on Sunday night when one Aubrey Drake Graham presented the apple of his eye, one Robyn Rihanna Fenty, with her MTV VMA Vanguard award, and a heartfelt declaration of his eternal love. He attempted to consummate the relationship he has pined for throughout his whole feelings-laden life by planting a kiss on the MTV stage.

Ri Ri, self-actualized queen that she is, however, seemed to be having none of it and appeared to promptly dodge the smooch and pat his head maternally, thus effectively putting him back in the friend zone where he has seemed to reside for most of their flirtatious friendship.

People have always pited Drake throughout his career, as evidenced by the excellent Drake’s Tears memes and also the fact that he has been compared to AJ Soprano and Chandler Bing. However, after the VMAs, pity for Drake was at an all-time high. Let’s take a look at the headlines.

“Watch Drake’s Longing For Rihanna Reach Its Pinnacle With Their VMA ‘Kiss‘”

“Has Rihanna Really Been Friend-Zoning Drake All Along?”

“Watch Drake Awkwardly Stan for Rihanna at the MTV VMAs”

“What Is Curving, and Will Drake Ever Be Okay Again?”

But your girl finally took pity on him and benevolently bestowed a kiss on the most “extra” (her words) of lover boys.

So let’s call a moratorium on the pity parties for Drake, because after nearly a decade of waiting, Aubrey finally got that kiss. Whether or not this will turn Aubrih into reality or it all turns out to be some elaborate trolling on all of us (including Drizzy) by Rihanna remains to be seen, but until then, revel in the glory that is Drake’s supreme bliss over finally getting some love from Ri Ri.