This Is The Most Ironic Part of That ‘Headphones’ Post

In case you missed it, ‘Modern Man’ Dan Bacon—whose extensive writing portfolio includes hits like ‘Why Does Being Too Nice to a Woman Often Lead to Rejection?‘ and ‘How to Make a Woman Feel Intense Attraction For You‘—has finally answered the age-old question of how to get a woman to pay attention to you when she really would prefer to be left alone.

Though we think we could answer the headline-prompt, ‘How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones‘ with two words (“just don’t”), Bacon posits that a single woman “will usually be happy to take off her headphones to give you an opportunity to create a spark with her”—only if you follow his tips.

The most ironic part of his piece? Most women have said, time and time again, that headphones are their one source of defense against men like Dan Bacon. Dozens of women’s advice columns point to headphones as the best way to avoid street harassment, and women on Twitter were quick to point out this defense mechanism after seeing Bacon’s piece:

Bacon’s article suggests complimenting a woman once she removes her headphones, giving the example conversation-starter: “Hey – I know it’s not normal for people to talk to someone with headphones in, but I was walking along and saw you and thought – wow, she’s hot, I have to come over and say hi. I’m Dan, what’s your name?”

What he’s recommending is that catcallers should take their craft to the next level: Instead of catcalling from afar, you should ask a woman to make sure she can hear you, smile at her, and then say the exact same thing you would have yelled from the window of your mom’s minivan.

So wildly off, so wrong, that we’re not positive Dan Bacon isn’t total fiction.