Why We Shouldn’t Feel Sorry for Melania Trump

Last night at the Republican National Convention, before an audience of 35 million people, Melania Trump, would-be First Lady of the United States, gazed into the teleprompter and read a speech with key lines stolen from Michelle Obama’s 2008 Democratic National Convention address. So why does everyone feel so bad for Mrs. Trump?

A distinct “poor Melania” narrative has emerged after the speech, which was deemed triumphant before it was exposed (at least in part) as a fraud. The argument is that lifting Mrs. Obama’s lines was not quite Mrs. Trump’s mistake, but that of her speechwriters, or the rogue, irreverent Trump machine at large. “The Trump Campaign Failed Melania,” read a New York magazine headline, which went on to say that “it was political malpractice to let this woman go on national television and deliver these stolen words.”

Melania found more support on Twitter: “I truly feel sorry for Melania Trump—she was dumped into the deep end of the political pool with no lessons on how to swim,” tweeted former GOP political aide Bruce Bartlett. As I wrote this, Access Hollywood Live (noted political talk show), played in the background of my home office, with fill-in host George Lopez sympathizing with Melania. “I believe that she doesn’t want this life,” he said of the imbroglio. ”To her credit, I don’t think she wrote [the speech],” added host Liz Hernandez. Walking down the street to get morning coffee, I overheard two elder ladies saying they, too, feel bad for Melania.

Read: How Melania Trump’s Plagiarism Happened

I agree that, as New York’s Rebecca Traister wrote, Melania is an “accidental political wife;” she is seasoned in the realm of red carpets, not political conventions and would be expected to lean heavily on speechwriters and aides for guidance. Her husband’s camp (and whatever RNC research team exists, as CNN’s Dan Pfeiffer notes) did fail Mrs. Trump by not checking the speech for plagiarism. But Melania also failed herself and the viewers.

Declaring her clueless and excusing her of any wrongdoing infantilizes her, and strips her of agency: she’s an adult woman addressing a national audience of millions. It is, at least in part, incumbent on her to deliver her speech responsibly, without plagiarizing, whether intentionally or not. Does she not have the Internet, and the capacity to research past candidate wives’ convention speeches? In this instance, she may have done just that, a little too well. Before the convention, Melania told Matt Lauer she wrote the speech herself, “with as little help as possible.”

It’s cozy to cling to the idea that the Trump women are really not on board with his agenda; that they will come out swinging one day for family leave and the right to choose. (Trump has said in the past that both Melania and Ivanka Trump will serve as advocates for women’s health on the campaign trail, which has yet to happen). The prevailing idea that Mrs. Trump is just a puppet being manipulated by the campaign is certainly problematic for her husband’s presidential bid: is she a fembot who is fed stolen words and thrust before the country on live television, or a would-be First Lady? But for as long as Melania is standing by her husband’s side, in the glare of the spotlight, she’s responsible for her words.