--- title: Is It A Date? How To Tell description: Use our calculator to find out if it's a date or just hanging out. canonical: https://time.com/4273249/how-to-tell-if-its-a-date/ author: Amelia Showalter article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2016-03-31T12:00:11.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T09:02:07.196Z og:title: How to Tell If You're On a Date or Just Hanging Out og:description: Use this calculator to find out og:url: https://time.com/4273249/how-to-tell-if-its-a-date/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt000b16786e82bf01/69888d112dce0184059e86ae/was-it-a-date.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: 471953378 og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: How to Tell If You're On a Date or Just Hanging Out twitter:description: Use this calculator to find out twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt000b16786e82bf01/69888d112dce0184059e86ae/was-it-a-date.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # How to Tell If You're On a Date or Just Hanging Out by [Amelia Showalter](https://time.com/author/amelia-showalter/) and [Chris Wilson](https://time.com/author/chris-wilson/) Mar 31, 2016 12:00 PM UTC  love is one phone call away love is one phone call awayGetty Images by [Amelia Showalter](https://time.com/author/amelia-showalter/) and [Chris Wilson](https://time.com/author/chris-wilson/) Mar 31, 2016 12:00 PM UTC The results of Motto’s [“Is it a date or not?” quiz](http://motto.time.com/4214684/is-it-a-date-take-our-quiz-to-find-out/) are in, and thanks to the 92,000 responses we received, we were able to build a formula to predict when a hangout is perceived as a [date](http://motto.time.com/4272816/first-date-advice/). The above calculator applies that model to thousands of possible situations. We’ve written [an article on the findings of the quiz](http://motto.time.com/4273236/does-the-friend-zone-exist/), but here are a few key takeaways: **The friend effect**Invitations to or from a “friend of a friend” are mostly likely to be perceived as a date, all else being equal. Invitations from a friend, meanwhile, are the least likely to be considered dates. **Gender and age play a role**In most cases, straight men are at least 5% more likely than women of any orientation to consider something a date. Gay men are 4% less likely to consider anything a date. People age 30 or younger are 3% more likely to consider anything a date. **Dinner usually means a date**Dinner telegraphs “date” better than any other meal, followed by a drink. This is less true in both cases if the day is Sunday. **The best way to ask**Asking someone out in person adds a modest boost to the odds that the person being asked will consider it a date. Emailing, meanwhile, slightly detracts from the odds. **How to see an ex**If you’re meeting with an ex-boyfriend or an ex-girlfriend, coffee and lunch are the safest options to signal that you’re not interested in getting back together. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4273249/how-to-tell-if-its-a-date/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4273249/how-to-tell-if-its-a-date/"},"headline":"How to Tell If You're On a Date or Just Hanging Out","datePublished":"2016-03-31T12:00:11.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T09:02:07.196Z","description":"Use this calculator to find out","url":"https://time.com/4273249/how-to-tell-if-its-a-date/","keywords":["motto","Dating","quiz","interactive"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt000b16786e82bf01/69888d112dce0184059e86ae/was-it-a-date.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Amelia Showalter","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/amelia-showalter/"},{"@type":"Person","name":"Chris Wilson","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/chris-wilson/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt000b16786e82bf01/69888d112dce0184059e86ae/was-it-a-date.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"471953378","caption":"love is one phone call away","creditText":"Getty Images","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/motto/","name":"motto"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4273249/how-to-tell-if-its-a-date/","name":"How to Tell If You're On a Date or Just Hanging Out"}}]}] ```