--- title: How to Be Confident in Conversations description: Get rid of wasted filler words. canonical: https://time.com/4266770/confident-coversations/ author: Brian Roberts article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2016-03-22T13:30:53.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:44:56.201Z og:title: How to Sound More Confident in Conversations og:description: Drop the um, like and uhs og:url: https://time.com/4266770/confident-coversations/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltb6e45e3a05f9532b/69888bea428a9e07b8cd1e6b/secrets-confident-conversation-advice-filler-words.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 3000 og:image:height: 1688 og:image:alt: secrets-confident-conversation-advice-filler-words og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: How to Sound More Confident in Conversations twitter:description: Drop the um, like and uhs twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltb6e45e3a05f9532b/69888bea428a9e07b8cd1e6b/secrets-confident-conversation-advice-filler-words.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # How to Sound More Confident in Conversations > Sponsored content. 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A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-inside-2026q3/newsletters?i=83ab538e-77a4-4262-8605-85d2fd0f96cd&cr=time-nl-inside-2026q3-v1) ## Video: Some of The World's Most Powerful Women Share Their Best Advice [Watch (HLS stream): Some of The World's Most Powerful Women Share Their Best Advice](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/LF8Rmcmf.m3u8) (1:11)  _Published 2016-02-02_ by [Brian Roberts](https://time.com/author/brian-roberts/) ## Brian Roberts Mar 22, 2016 1:30 PM UTC  Getty Images by [Brian Roberts](https://time.com/author/brian-roberts/) ## Brian Roberts Mar 22, 2016 1:30 PM UTC Whenever I interview subjects for stories, I always record the calls. In the beginning, when I’d play back these conversations, I would cringe almost constantly. I had no idea how many filler words (also known as detractors) I’d been using without even realizing it. We all say phrases like _um_, _uh_, _like_, _you know_ and _I mean_. An overreliance on crutch words like _basically_, _stuff like that_ and _things like that_ are basically a universal issue. (See what I did there?) But using too many fillers can also undermine your message. So I reached out to one of my former college instructors, Louis Dell’Omo, an associate professor of communications at Middlesex County College and an on-air disc jockey with 94.3 The Point FM, for a practical solution to this problem. As it turns out, my technique of recording my interviews was spot-on. _Watch this video as some of the world’s most powerful women share their best advice:_ “Record a [brief conversation](http://motto.time.com/4259998/interesting-conversation-tips/) between you and a partner,” recommends Dell’Omo. “Listen to the playback and, with pen and paper, count the number of detractors in your speech. You will be amazed.” The point of this exercise isn’t to shame yourself for using so many fillers. It’s to become more mindful about when and how you use them—so you can avoid them in the future. **_Read more:_** [_Maria Shriver on the Power of Conversations_](http://motto.time.com/4255665/maria-shriver-power-conversation/) “Try this technique several times until the number of detractors diminishes,” says Dell’Omo. Now that I’ve listened to recorded conversations I’ve had several times, I’m happy to say that I no longer use so many detractors. Going through this exercise may be a little tedious, but I promise the payoff—of sounding much more self-assured—is worth it. [_Brian Roberts_](http://www.brianjroberts.com/) _is a writer, entrepreneur and university guest lecturer from New Jersey._ ## Transcript [00:00] [ MUSIC ] [00:05] Don't wait for people to give you your power. Just take it. [00:07] Think of yourself as a thermostat. You do have to have [00:11] situational leadership. Sometimes you have to dial things [00:13] up. And sometimes you have to dial things down. Best [00:15] piece of advice? Sing every day. Resist the temptation [00:19] to hire in your likeness. So the best piece of advice I've [00:22] ever gotten is super simple. Work harder than everybody [00:24] else. Hire people that think differently than you do. That [00:28] add something different than what you have to offer. From [00:30] my father before I went to basic training just to keep my [00:33] sense of humor. Make it a great place to work. And you'll [00:37] attract talent. You can develop talent. And great products [00:40] come from great teams. Being patient. Don't be so restless. [00:43] You're not the smartest person in the room. It's okay to take [00:46] risks. Play nice. It'll always come back to you no matter [00:50] what happens. You need to collaborate with your [00:53] colleagues and make them as successful as yourself. [00:56] There are very few decisions, career decisions, that you [01:00] make that are irreversible. Always be [01:04] yourself. 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