--- description: The UFC champ told Ellen DeGeneres she had suicidal thoughts title: Ronda Rousey Reveals She Had Suicidal Thoughts After Holly Holm Loss image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production --- * [Newsfeed](/tag/time-section-newsfeed/) ## Newsfeed Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close # Ronda Rousey Reveals She Had Suicidal Thoughts After Losing to Holly Holm by [Samantha Grossman](/author/samantha-grossman/) ## Samantha Grossman Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Feb 16, 2016 3:56 PM CUT by [Samantha Grossman](/author/samantha-grossman/) ## Samantha Grossman Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Feb 16, 2016 3:56 PM CUT Back in November, MMA fans were shocked when former bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey [lost to Holly Holm](http://time.com/4113796/holly-holm-ronda-rousey-ufc/ "undefined") in a major upset. Rousey has discussed the fight before — but mostly to address the physical effects. (“It might be three to six months before I can eat an apple,” she [told ESPN](http://time.com/4140048/ronda-rousey-holly-holm-interview/ "undefined"), “let alone take an impact.”) But now, in an interview with Ellen DeGeneres, Rousey has opened up about the emotional aftermath of the devastating loss. She said that as she sat in a medical room following the fight, her first thought was, “What am I anymore if I’m not this?” “I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself and that exact second I’m like, ‘I’m nothing, what do I do anymore, and no one gives a s–t about me anymore without this.'” With support from her boyfriend, fellow UFC star Travis Browne, Rousey said she overcame her suicidal thoughts. “I looked up and I saw my man Travis was standing up there, and I looked up at him and I was like, I need to have his babies. I need to stay alive.” Shortly after the loss, Rousey had promised fans [she’d be back](http://time.com/4114013/ronda-rousey-holly-holm-upset/ "undefined"). ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4225547/ronda-rousey-holly-holm-loss-ellen/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4225547/ronda-rousey-holly-holm-loss-ellen/"},"headline":"Ronda Rousey Reveals She Had Suicidal Thoughts After Losing to Holly Holm","datePublished":"2016-02-16T15:56:03.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T07:30:02.835Z","description":"She opened up in an emotional interview on Ellen","url":"https://time.com/4225547/ronda-rousey-holly-holm-loss-ellen/","keywords":["Newsfeed","celebrity"],"thumbnailUrl":"","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Samantha Grossman","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/samantha-grossman/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/tag/time-section-newsfeed/","name":"Newsfeed"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4225547/ronda-rousey-holly-holm-loss-ellen/","name":"Ronda Rousey Reveals She Had Suicidal Thoughts After Losing to Holly Holm"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"Ronda Rousey On Holly Holm Fight: 'I Need To Come Back'","description":"In November, Holly Holm knocked out Ronda Rousey in one of the biggest upsets in UFC history. And now, she’s hungry for a rematch.","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/9Fv5wqfv/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2015-12-08T16:34:16.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/9Fv5wqfv.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/4225547/ronda-rousey-holly-holm-loss-ellen/","duration":"PT46S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/4225547/ronda-rousey-holly-holm-loss-ellen/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```