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“APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing Memory and desire, stirring Dull roots with spring rain.”

That’s a quote from a T.S. Eliot poem, but according to everybody’s favorite astrologer Susan Miller, April 2014 is going to be an absolutely horrific month for almost all of us. Of course, that’s only if you believe in astrology.

New York Magazine points out that in an interview given to the Guardian in January, Miller noted that two “angry eclipses” destined for us in April will cause some intense emotional upheaval, particularly for anyone born between April 15 and 29. From NY Mag:

And it gets worse. From the Guardian story:

Miller also said that April looks so scary she’s “giving classes on it.” At least Mercury won’t be in retrograde?

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