Just because he can rescue princesses, trounce giant monsters and drive go-karts through magical worlds doesn’t mean Mario is immune from the pressures of running your own business.
The iconic Nintendo character has caved to the pressures of social media and opened a LinkedIn page for his plumbing business. Looking for a CUNY-educated proud Italian-American plumber and union member with nearly four decades of experience? Mario is your guy.
The thorough profile lists all of his side-jobs, such as battling Bowser and Donkey Kong, as well as his special skills (mustache-growing, pasta-eating—the kind of things you look for when considering plumbers, obviously). The only thing missing is some acknowledgment of Mario Party—surely being a board-game master would impress potential clients?
For once, though, the prospect of getting an email with the message “I’d like to add you to my professional network” doesn’t seem so bad.
More Must-Reads from TIME
- Introducing the 2024 TIME100 Next
- Sabrina Carpenter Has Waited Her Whole Life for This
- What Lies Ahead for the Middle East
- Why It's So Hard to Quit Vaping
- Jeremy Strong on Taking a Risk With a New Film About Trump
- Our Guide to Voting in the 2024 Election
- The 10 Races That Will Determine Control of the Senate
- Column: How My Shame Became My Strength
Write to Nolan Feeney at nolan.feeney@time.com