By Nolan Feeney
December 15, 2015

Just because he can rescue princesses, trounce giant monsters and drive go-karts through magical worlds doesn’t mean Mario is immune from the pressures of running your own business.

The iconic Nintendo character has caved to the pressures of social media and opened a LinkedIn page for his plumbing business. Looking for a CUNY-educated proud Italian-American plumber and union member with nearly four decades of experience? Mario is your guy.

The thorough profile lists all of his side-jobs, such as battling Bowser and Donkey Kong, as well as his special skills (mustache-growing, pasta-eating—the kind of things you look for when considering plumbers, obviously). The only thing missing is some acknowledgment of Mario Party—surely being a board-game master would impress potential clients?

For once, though, the prospect of getting an email with the message “I’d like to add you to my professional network” doesn’t seem so bad.

Write to Nolan Feeney at nolan.feeney@time.com.

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