--- title: Psychology: 4 Ways to Increase Your Resilience description: Surround yourself with the right people. canonical: https://time.com/4135399/resilience-meaning-tips/ author: Shane Parrish article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-12-04T05:01:25.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:49:26.424Z article:section: Ideas og:title: 4 Ways to Increase Your Resilience og:description: Surround yourself with the right people og:url: https://time.com/4135399/resilience-meaning-tips/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbd832a2c4cacb8e5/698873b4bc6cfc00553daa8d/male-friends-hiking-mountain-winter.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: male-friends-hiking-mountain-winter og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: 4 Ways to Increase Your Resilience twitter:description: Surround yourself with the right people twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbd832a2c4cacb8e5/698873b4bc6cfc00553daa8d/male-friends-hiking-mountain-winter.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # 4 Ways to Increase Your Resilience, According to Psychology ## Video: Know Right Now: How to be Mentally Strong [Watch (HLS stream): Know Right Now: How to be Mentally Strong](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/uzXSRUbM.m3u8) (1:01)  _Published 2015-08-25. It’s estimated that you say 300-1,000 to yourself in a minute: keep those words positive_ by [Shane Parrish](https://time.com/author/shane-parrish/) ## Shane Parrish Dec 4, 2015 5:01 AM UTC  Men hiking in mountains in winter, Alaska, USA --- Image by © Michael DeYoung/Corbis Men hiking in mountains in winter, Alaska, USA --- Image by © Michael DeYoung/CorbisCorbis by [Shane Parrish](https://time.com/author/shane-parrish/) ## Shane Parrish Dec 4, 2015 5:01 AM UTC Psychologist Albert Bandura is famous for his social learning theory which is really more of a model than a theory. He stresses the importance of observational learning. Who you spend time with matters. “Learning would be exceedingly laborious, not to mention hazardous, if people had to rely solely on the effects of their own actions to inform them what to do,” Bandura explains. There is an excerpt in [_Stronger: Develop the Resilience You Need to Succeed_](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0814436048/?tag=timecom-20) that explains how we can acquire and maintain the [factors of personal resilience](https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2015/11/antifragile-life/). --- > “” --- According to Bandura we need to control the stress around us so that it doesn’t become excessive, in part because we often act without thinking in stressful situations. --- > “” --- But note the distinction between controlling and suppressing. Often controlling is impossible so we suppress and fool ourselves into thinking we’re controlling. And [suppressing volatility is often a horrible idea](https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2011/06/why-government-suppress-volatility-and-why-it-backfires/), especially in the long-run. Instead of what’s intended, we create a coiled spring that most often leads to negative leaping emergent effects. In the end this moves us toward [fragility](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0812979680/ref=as%5Fli%5Fqf%5Fsp%5Fasin%5Fil%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0812979680&linkCode=as2&tag=farnamstreet-20&linkId=STOOTDT4OZJHWI24) and away from [robustness and resiliency](https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2014/04/antifragile-a-definition/). \*\*\* _If you’re still curious,_ [The Hour Between Dog and Wolf: How Risk Taking Transforms Us, Body and Mind](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0143123408/?tag=timecom-20) _discusses a bit of this topic as well._ **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Farnam Street_**](https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2015/11/albert-bandura-acquiring-self-efficacy/)**_._** **Join over 60,000 readers and get a free weekly update via email** [**here**](http://www.farnamstreetblog.com/newsletter/)**.** ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/4135399/resilience-meaning-tips/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/4135399/resilience-meaning-tips/"},"headline":"4 Ways to Increase Your Resilience, According to Psychology","datePublished":"2015-12-04T05:01:25.000Z","dateModified":"2026-08-04T07:49:26.424Z","description":"Surround yourself with the right people.","url":"https://time.com/4135399/resilience-meaning-tips/","keywords":["Psychology","resilience"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbd832a2c4cacb8e5/698873b4bc6cfc00553daa8d/male-friends-hiking-mountain-winter.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Shane Parrish","jobTitle":"","url":"https://time.com/author/shane-parrish/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbd832a2c4cacb8e5/698873b4bc6cfc00553daa8d/male-friends-hiking-mountain-winter.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"male-friends-hiking-mountain-winter","caption":"male-friends-hiking-mountain-winter","creditText":"Corbis","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/psychology/","name":"Psychology"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/4135399/resilience-meaning-tips/","name":"4 Ways to Increase Your Resilience, According to Psychology"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"Know Right Now: How to be Mentally Strong","description":"It’s estimated that you say 300-1,000 to yourself in a minute: keep those words positive","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/uzXSRUbM/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2015-08-25T17:28:45.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/uzXSRUbM.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/4135399/resilience-meaning-tips/","duration":"PT1M1S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/4135399/resilience-meaning-tips/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```