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What If Kevin McCallister Was Home Alone In 2015?

3 minute read

Happy anniversary, ya filthy animals.

It’s been 25 years since Home Alone hit theaters, becoming an instant holiday classic. It has clearly stood the test of time — come on, you know you still watch it and love it every year — but really, it would be an entirely different movie if it took place today. (Do keep in mind that the premise of the movie was already a tad unbelievable in the 1990s, and it’s even more so today. Clearly Kevin’s mom would have ways to contact him while he was stuck at home, for example.)

From social media to man buns, here’s how the plot of Home Alone would likely go if it took place in 2015.

  • Kevin’s mom, furious about her inability to get on a flight home, would start tweeting angrily at the airlines and start a viral hashtag. Something like #DeltaFailLines or #SouthWorstAirlines.
  • Kevin would rent out Buzz’s room on Airbnb. The film’s iconic final line — “Kevin, what did you do to my room?!” — would become “Kevin, why is there some dude sleeping in my room?!”
  • There would be a Kickstarter to help the old guy next door.
  • Instead of watching Angels With Filthy Souls, Kevin would hack into his parents’ HBO Go account and watch Game of Thrones. He loves it, but they never let him watch it.
  • Realizing it could go viral, Kevin would recreate his iconic bathroom scream and turn it into a Vine.
  • Kevin would live tweet the whole ordeal with the hashtag #HomeAlone.
  • He’d then crowdsource ideas for what pranks to pull on the burglars.
  • Marv would have a man bun. Harry would make fun of it.
  • The parents would oversleep because they forgot to update their iPhone software and their alarms didn’t go off.
  • The family would not be in France. They’d be in Iceland because a JetBlue glitch accidentally listed tickets for $32.
  • Kevin would order his pizza on Seamless. Or he’d turn to the Reddit thread Random Acts of Pizza.
  • He’d throw a fit when he realizes he accidentally ordered from a gluten-free pizza place.
  • That scene when Kevin climbs up Buzz’s shelves and then they break and he shouts “whoa!” and everything falls? He’d totally break Buzz’s hoverboard.
  • And when he says “Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!”? That would happen while snooping through Buzz’s iPad and coming across a selfie.
  • The Wet Bandits would case the joint using social media, keeping an eye on everybody’s Facebook and Instagram feeds for clues about when they’d left for vacation.
  • Instead of creating a fake party with mannequins and cardboard cutouts to convince the Wet Bandits that he wasn’t alone, the ever-savvy Kevin would hire real people on Craigslist.
  • Kevin’s whole story would go viral and he’d end up on Ellen to talk about it.
  • After the Ellen segment, there would be massive backlash about Kevin’s mom and her poor parenting.
  • There would then be backlash to that backlash.
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