It usually feels great to send an email and get it off your to-do list, especially if it was an important one. For about 30 seconds, you’re just high from the feeling that you accomplished something. Sadly, that doesn’t last long.
Ha. That’s funny. She hasn’t responded back within 31 seconds—even though you put so much time and effort into this email and it possesses a very important question!
What could she be doing that she can’t respond right now? Maybe she’s writing an email and yours is next on the docket, or maybe she’s reading a really in-depth New Yorker piece…or fell into a BuzzFeed coma.
OK, seriously, how hard it is write a short email? All you want is a response. A simple response. A 2-year-old child could do this! And if she’s on vacation, why doesn’t she have an Out of Office response?! That’s just common courtesy!
Guess this person just doesn’t think you’re important. Maybe everyone feels that way. Might as well just go and eat worms.
6. The Crazy Hypothesis Stage
Hmm, maybe her computer broke? Or the window washer’s harness broke and she was the only one who could save him? Or maybe she writes Pretty Little Liars fan fiction and got stuck on the cliffhanger? Or maybe she got one of those Chinese finger traps and actually got her fingers stuck in it so she can’t type. Yeah, that’s probably it.
Now you can’t do anything else because all you can think about is this email. Your coworkers are talking about Bachelor in Paradise and you don’t even want to weigh in on it. You’re literally 11 seconds away from having a full-on meltdown, Elfaba Finale of Act 1 in Wicked style.
Maybe she just didn’t get it. It says it went through, but maybe it didn’t. Or the computer exploded at the exact moment you sent it. You’ll just keep checking. Checking repeatedly always helps.
It’s fine. You can be super busy and important, too. You’re going to get a Pumpkin Spice Latte, like important people do, and you won’t think about the fact that she hasn’t emailed while you wait in line for your Pumpkin Email Latte. Damnit. Pumpkin Spice Latte.
OK, your email will never be answered. Ever. This is just part of your life now.
11. Relief (When They Finally Respond to Your Email)
Oh, she was in a meeting. That makes sense. I’ll read this later.
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