17 Buttons Facebook Really Needs to Add After “Dislike”

3 minute read

For years, Facebook users have been asking for a “Dislike” button, and for years, they’ve been brutally rebuffed. But Lord Zuck has spoken, revealing that the social network is now building that very button. (Or at least, some version of it.)

In a Q&A session Tuesday, Zuckerberg said the company is workshopping a way for users to express something other than “Like.” Because, as Zuck himself said, “Not every moment is a good moment.”

We’re totally on board, but we’ve got ideas for other buttons that would enhance the Facebook experience even more:

  • An “I don’t care” button, because obviously. This is super necessary.
  • A “Nom” button for when your friend posts an extremely appealing picture of food. (For example: This unfathomable doughnut ice cream sandwich.)
  • An “I Never Asked For This” button for when a video you had no plans to watch starts autoplaying. (This would double as a “stop playing” button.)
  • A “Yas Kween” button for when you want to support your friend and liking simply isn’t enough. (Broad City creators Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer, who popularized this phrase, would ideally get royalties every time anyone clicked this button.)
  • An “I Seent It” button for people who repost pictures or jokes from Reddit and try to pass them off as their own. (Thanks to Pineapple Express for the idea behind this button.)
  • A “Who Dis?” button for when a guy you met once during your sophomore year of college somehow sneaks his way into your News Feed.
  • A “Beautifully Put” button for you to show you like the nice thing somebody said about his grandmother but not the fact that she died.
  • They’re Gonna Make It” and “I Give It a Month” companion buttons for you to vote on whether an overshare-y couple will last.
  • A “Keep It To Yourself” button for when somebody just goes too far with the oversharing. (This could also be called the “TMI” button.)
  • A “You’ve Got My Vote!” button for your friends who appear to be running for office with their nonstop, measured commentary on every issue.
  • A “Yes, I Guess That’s a Baby” button for the endless baby pictures making their way into your feed.
  • A “No.” button for when you read something dumb or deeply misguided and all you can think is just “No.” We’d all have to agree to use this sparingly lest it lose its power.
  • A “Seriously? It’s 2015” button to hide your relatives’ racist and/or sexist rants.
  • A “Why?” button for when someone posts the most mundane possible thing about their day, and you genuinely wonder, “Why?”
  • A “Special Snowflake” button for people who post constantly about things that pretty much everyone likes in an effort to seem So Cute and Quirky!
  • An “Awwww, Hiii” button for pictures of particularly cute dogs. Because not everything is the worst.
  • A “Pat On the Back” button for the people who post about how they so selflessly helped a disabled, pregnant wombat cross the street or gave organic eggs to a homeless person—but then of course needed to tell everyone they know about it.

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