--- title: How to Deal with a Bored Kid description: Different ages need different answers canonical: https://time.com/3919836/parenting-bored-children/ author: Carey Wallace article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-06-15T12:00:26.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:45:16.440Z og:title: What to Do When Your Kid Gets Bored This Summer og:description: Different ages need different answers og:url: https://time.com/3919836/parenting-bored-children/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltfd1ba35cde86233d/6988545a3c1639d8d4458597/gettyimages-483995437.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 3413 og:image:height: 1920 og:image:alt: bored kid og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: What to Do When Your Kid Gets Bored This Summer twitter:description: Different ages need different answers twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltfd1ba35cde86233d/6988545a3c1639d8d4458597/gettyimages-483995437.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # How to Deal with a Bored Kid > Sponsored content. 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Kids and parents who once looked forward to the summer break may suddenly find themselves dealing with the aggravation of a familiar complaint: “I’m bored!” But boredom can also be an opportunity, according to Linda Caldwell, professor of Recreation, Park and Tourism Management and Human Development and Family Studies at Penn State. “Boredom should be motivational,” she says. “It’s a sign that you need to change what you are doing and do something else.” In fact, learning to beat boredom is a crucial life skill. Kids who are always bored in their leisure time, says Caldwell, are in danger of developing “long-term boredom, where nothing is ever interesting.” That long-term boredom has been linked to substance abuse, school drop out, and vandalism. And boredom doesn’t just come from having too few activities, Caldwell says. “It could be a sign you have too many.” The good news? When kids connect with activities that mean something to them, their health and sense of identity both improve. So how can parents help kids beat summer boredom? When kids are in **_elementary school_**_,_ Caldwell says, they need “a lot of support finding things they are interested in.” It’s important for parents to expose kids to different activities, and encourage them to try new things. Parents can help kids discover what they like – and what they don’t – by starting conversations about how kids enjoyed new experiences, what else they might like to try, and what they’d like to do again. In **_middle school_**, Caldwell says, kids’ brains are primed for sensation seeking. With too much time on their hands, that can lead to a bent for dangerous thrills. But their neurological desire for novelty at this age also means they’re primed to develop lifelong passions, for everything from technology to arts. “Because of the pruning that takes place in the brain,” Caldwell says, “youth can actually sculpt their abilities to control impulses and hone their skills.” Parents can encourage middle school kids by checking in with them about what activities they get the most out of – and encouraging them to stick with them, even – or especially – if they’re challenging. Even more than support in their activities, **_high school kids_** need freedom, according to Caldwell. Leisure is a time to feel “self-determined,” Caldwell says, “that they are making decisions and in control of the situation.” It’s an important time for kids to “experiment with who they are as a person: am I a soccer player? A photographer? An artist?” But if kids are too over-scheduled, Caldwell says, they “often are even more bored.” So unscheduled time is crucial. “We have an activity bias,” Caldwell says. “But creativity can happen in these quiet moments if you don’t panic because you are bored.” Parents can help busy high school students by letting them know it’s important to rest – and by starting conversations with them about the activities that matter most to them, and how those activities shape their ideas about who they might become. [For a weekly roundup of the most interesting parenting stories, subscribe to TIME’s parenting weekly newsletter.](http://time.com/t4parents) ## Transcript Hi how are you guys? Rosalind Wiseman is widely known for her non- fiction book, Queen Bees and Wannabes, which was the basis for the movie Mean Girls. Now she's attempting to change the perception of boys with her new book, Masterminds and Wing men. To better understand them, Wiseman is working with hundreds of teen students across the country. And recently, she reunited with three of these boys who were instrumental in helping her create this book. If, if you believe this, dispel the notion that like, guys like you can get their hearts broken and it bothers you. I was dating this girl for a few months and then I found out she cheated on me with two people and then, I blame myself. If I had been better, if I hadn't done this. What is so important to me, that I want adults to realize is, is that boys have deep connections with people. They want meaningful relationships, they fall in love. And when betrayals happen, and they do, or when breakups happen. They are in deep amounts of pain. They often don't share that with other people, but it doesn't mean that, that doesn't exist. I broke up with my girlfriend in the middle of football season in, in college jobs. And the worst part is, I couldn't really talk to any of my athlete friends about it. So I, the only friend I could talk to, is someone who wasn't an athlete. Why? My, groups of friends like, we don't talk about girls like [ CROSSTALK ]. You don't talk about your relationships. I wouldn't talk about relationships. Relationships with girls. It's like a five minute discussion, who did you hook up with? You're done, that's it. But if I actually wanna have a meaningful discussion, how I feel, I have to put on, kinda put up a little wall there. I have to kinda go to the friends that, it won't matter if I talk to them about it. The friend who's not an athlete, who's not like the top tier of people at this school, like who could actually, you know, listen. What I'm hearing in these interviews, are boys really breaking so many of the stereotypes that we have about boys. They're so much more complex. They have rich emotional lives. And if we can sit down, and really listen to them, they will tell us. I mean, look back on your high school years. Are there things that you did, or participated in, or you didn't speak out about, that you regret? The seniors, when I was a freshman, were some of the worst seniors that our school has ever had. They told all the freshman that, that in order to leave the locker room, they had to get like whipped. With what? A belt or something. It's just something stupid or like, I don't even know, like a rope or something. And then, like I don't, if you speak up, you're gonna get beat more. But maybe your beating will entail less beating than everybody else. Roseline is someone I looked up to. If I had an issue, I would come to her and be like, oh. I don't know how to deal with this situation, and then she would help me out. You know, it was very, very weird talking to Roseline at first, because I treated her like a parent. I kinda had to filter what I had to say. But then I became comfortable, like she was just like a sister, someone like that. So I was really able to sort of tell her more things that I wouldn't be able to tell any other adult person. Adults don't think, that boys and girls can be friends. Like strong, strong friendships. Yeah, when I, when I broke up with my girlfriend, I went to dinner with one of my really good girlfriends to talk about it. And the first thing my mom says like, well you just broke up with your girlfriend. Like two days ago. I was like are you serious? Like really. You can have a completely platonic relationship with a very attractive girl. It's like in, in, there'd be nothing there. So, it's one of those experiences of examples of boys being pushed into a stereotype of like all they care about is sex? I think for other boys, this is gonna be really interesting because they get to see a new side of things, that they may have not knew existed. Or they could finally relate to something that they didn't know like, wow I was, I'm not the only one feeling this. And but to realize that all these different kids came together. Because they believe that this is an important thing to do. 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