Hardee's Most American Thickburger Looks Like Delicious Monstrosity

May 14, 2015 5:01 PM EDT

There’s nothing more patriotic than a beef patty, a split hot dog and handful of greasy potato chips coming together to form a giant, caloric bomb. At least, that must be the thinking behind the new “Most American Thickburger,” coming soon to Hardee’s and Carl’s Jr.

In addition to combining three sports stadium staples that are generally bad for you, the burger will also include ketchup, mustard, tomato, red onion, pickles and cheese. All for the low, low health cost of 1,030 calories and 64 grams of fat, according to the Associated Press.

The company is using sexual-but-patriotic imagery to promote the new meal, which arrives at restaurants May 20. The burger will cost $5.79, while a combo with fries and a drink (which will probably approach the total caloric intake a normal person is supposed to have in an entire day) will cost $8.29.

The new burger follows Carl’s Jr’s recent commercial stunt, which featured model Charlotte McKinney strutting around to promote a new “all-natural,” antibiotics-free patty

The 17 Most Influential Burgers of All Time

Russia's President Medvedev and U.S. President Obama have burgers for lunch at Ray's Hell Burger restaurant in Arlington — Kevin Lamarque—Reuters

BURGER KING WHOPPER — Burger King Corporation/PRNewsFoto/AP

Heart Attack Grill owner Jon poses with a quadruple bypass cheese burger in Chandler, Arizona — Joshua Lott—Reuters

Developer Of First Cultivated Beef Burger Mark Post — Simon Dawson—Bloomberg/Getty Images

The ordering lingo for this Atlanta staple, which debuted in 1928, is almost as delicious as the burger itself: you get it “all the way” in lieu of “with onions,” and “walk a steak” replaces “to-go.” These branding gimmicks were later replicated by burger chains like In-N-Out, whose secret menu (see: “animal style” and "protein style") has helped lure millions of customers. — Courtesy of Kayla Tausche—AP

Shake Shack Comes to Russia Two Decades After McDonald's Debut — Andrey Rudakov—Bloomberg/Getty Images

Designer Burger Demand in Los Angeles Grabs Hold in New York — Patrick Fallon—Bloomberg/Getty Images

Image converted using ifftoany — Coutesy of Gardenburger

In October, Chicago heavy-metal-themed bar Kuma's Corner launched one of the most outrageous burgers to date: the Ghost Burger—it's named after Swedish metal band Ghost B.C.—was topped with an unconsecrated Communion wafer. The dish sold well, but angered Catholics (and garnered national headlines), prompting the owners to donate $1,500 to Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Chicago. — Courtesy of Kuma

Japan - Fast Food - Mos Food Services - Hamburger Chain — Everett Kennedy Brown—EPA/Corbis

Although this twist on the cheeseburger—in which the cheese is melted inside the patty—was reportedly invented in the 1920s, when chefs were still experimenting with the burger, it gained national attention in 2008, thanks to a feud between two Minneapolis bars that both claim to have "invented" it. Since then, there have been numerous imitators, proving that a little innovation and a dash of hype is all it takes to reinvigorate enthusiasm for a classic. Correction: The original version of this story misstated the date of invention of the Jucy Lucy. It was put on the menu at Matt's in 1954. — Bruce Bisping—Minneapolis Star Tribune/ZUMA Press

In-N-Out Burger As The Company Is Valued At Near $2 Billion — Patrick T. Fallon—Bloomberg/Getty Images

White Castle Hamburgers — Najlah Feanny—Corbis

Hardee’s New Patriotic Thickburger Looks Like a Delicious Monstrosity

The 17 Most Influential Burgers of All Time

More Must-Reads from TIME