Florida school teacher Emily Phillips, who died March 25 at 69 after battling pancreatic cancer, wrote a spirited obituary for herself that has gone viral since running in the Florida Times-Union on Tuesday.
Here are some of the most memorable lines from Phillips, a proud mother, grandmother and wife (or, as she referred to herself, “Grand Diva Of All Things Domestic”):
• “It pains me to admit it, but apparently, I have passed away.”
• “Once again I didn’t get things my way.”
• “So…I was born; I blinked; and it was over. No buildings named after me; no monuments erected in my honor.”
• “Today I am happy and I am dancing. Probably naked.”
Read next: The Most Surprising and Hilarious Requests from the Grave
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Write to Olivia B. Waxman at olivia.waxman@time.com