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Dancing With the Stars Watch: The First Cut Is the Deepest

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It’s Week 2 of Dancing With the Stars, and the producers are ready with a hashtag of a title, #MyJamMonday, which they are trying to make happen. To wit, the Whitman’s Sampler of ragtag stars (An ex-Bachelor! A Carl’s Jr. commercial star! A 14-year-old! An LMFAO-er!) choose their favorite “jam” and head to the dance floor to prove their mettle. This week, one star will be cut as the journey to the Mirror Ball Trophy gets under way.

Here’s what happened on Dancing With the Stars:

Chris Soules and Witney Carson: Did anyone doubt that The Bachelor star Chris Soules loved Pitbull? It’s clearly the foundation of his relationship with both Whitney, his reality-TV-selected life partner, and Witney, his dance-floor partner. Therefore, he chose to do his cha-cha to Pitbull’s “Time of My Life.” Len Goodman thought that his “jam got into a pickle” (Is Len pregnant?) but thought he did a pretty good job for someone without any dance experience. Carrie Ann Inaba encouraged him to focus on the details of the choreography. 20/40

Suzanne Somers and Tony Dovolani: Last week, the judges suggested that AARP member Suzanne Somers get “raunchier” in her dancing. So this week, there was a whole lotta shaking going on during her Jerry Lee Lewis–inspired jive with Suzanne wearing a pink-and-leopard-print ensemble straight out of Betsey Johnson’s leftover wardrobe. The judges appreciated the shaking and the effort. 28/40

Robert Herjavec and Kym Johnson: Before they could hit the dance floor to Michael Bublé’s version “You Make Me Feel So Young,” which is the Shark Tank star’s favorite jam (pretty sure that is not “a jam” by any definition, though), Robert and Kym had to address rumors that they were dating. They claim they aren’t, because they are too busy dancing, but no one believes them. Their foxtrot earned appreciative nods from the judges as well as a surprise video conference from Bublé himself applauding Robert’s prowess. 28/40.

Charlotte McKinney and Keo Motsepe: To remind everyone that she was once on a popular Super Bowl commercial, Charlotte McKinney staged her cha-cha to fellow Super Bowler Katy Perry’s song “California Gurls.” The judges deemed it “better than last week,” which is pretty feeble praise. Then after talking about the dangers and damages of cyberbullying, Bruno Tonioli told Charlotte that she had no idea what to do with her body and should work on that. Then Charlotte announced, “We have crabs!” and it took host Erin Andrews a moment to realize she was referring to the giant crabs dancing behind her. 26/40

Michael Sam and Peta Murgatroyd: NFL baller Michael Sam was tuckered out after playing football at the NFL combine over the weekend, but he didn’t let it slow his foxtrot set to the Motown sound complete with red-clad backup dancers. Len declared that in addition to crabs, he has “scarlet fever.” Julianne Hough thought it was “Broadway,” but she may have meant that in a good way. 28/40

Rumer Willis and Val Chmerkovskiy: Rumer and Val staked a claim to the top of the leaderboard after their dramatic foxtrot last week. To keep the pressure on their competition, this week they delivered a surprisingly fierce cha-cha to Adele’s “Rumour Has It,” which is Rumer’s jam because it has her name in it and serves as her own personal hang-in-there-kitten poster. The judges enthused all over it. 32/40

Redfoo and Emma Slater: LMFAO’s Redfoo wore sparkly overalls for his jive to his jam “My Sharona” by The Knack. After tanking last week, Redfoo realized this was a competition and not just a very public lark and decided to commit to practicing. His newfound commitment to rehearsing paid off, and Bruno announced that he went from “running on empty to running on plenty,” which is not really a thing that people say, but Redfoo appreciated it. 31/40

Willow Shielda and Mark Ballas: There is no way that 14-year-old Hunger Games actress Willow Shields’ favorite song is Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know,” because she was in elementary school when the song came out. Still, it worked well as a soundtrack for their Argentine Tango (plus, it’s always nice for Gotye to get a few more royalties). The judges were impressed with the lines and shapes of their dance. 32/40

Noah Galloway and Sharna Burgess: Veteran Noah Galloway chose Darius Rucker’s song “Homegrown Honey” and dedicated his rumba to his girlfriend, who is in basic training. Their dance was spot-on and Julianne praised Noah’s “musicality,” but the judging was overshadowed by the fact that the U.S. military decided to spring Noah’s girlfriend early to surprise him at the show. They reunited on stage and hugged and hugged and there was nothing but smiles and tears and Erin trying to cut in on their reunion to shove a microphone in his face to ask how it all feels. 27/40

Nastia Liukin and Derek Hough: Olympic gymnast Nastia Liukin thinks Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” is a “jam,” so Derek choreographed an intimate samba to the sappy song. The only problem is that Nastia had all her emotions trained out of her on the path to Olympic glory, and Derek has to spend a lot of time re-training her to emote. He must have done a good job, because his very own sister, Julianne, said so. Carrie Ann was speechless at the end of the routine and doled out the season’s very first nine. 34/40

Riker Lynch and Allison Holker: Third-string Glee extra and aspiring singer-songwriter Riker Lynch chose to dance his foxtrot to “Sugar” by Maroon 5. To make it work, Allison had to give him a Pretty Woman-esque makeover, which impressed the judges enough to dole out a decent score. 32/40

Patti LaBelle and Artem Chigvintsev: Patti LaBelle is no joke, and when asked what her jam is, she chose 50 Cent’s “In Da Club,” which definitively fits the bill. Then she busted out some sassy salsa moves and the crowd went suitably wild. Julianne and Carrie Ann bowed at the feet of the queen and Julianne demanded an invitation to “the club.” Bruno declared Miss LaBelle, “So Cookie, so Empire,” which is clearly the highest compliment possible. While Patti’s probably not long for the show, since it’s only Week 2 and she already has a knee injury, it’s great fun having her now. 28/40

In Jeopardy: Redfoo, Suzanne Somers, Chris Soules, Charlotte McKinney are all called to the bottom of the stage. Chris and Charlotte are safe, leaving Redfoo and Suzanne Somers in jeopardy.

Going Home: Redfoo, who is probably not LMFAO right now. The audience booed the decision loudly and host Tom Bergeron chided nonvoters, because the decision was made on less than 0.1% of votes.

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