You're laughing now, but in 1998 you WISHED you looked as cool as this.
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February 20, 2015 5:17 PM EST

Remember JNCOs? Those ugly, inexplicably wide-legged jeans popular among youths during the heart of the 1990s? Well, the brand is relaunching and will release a brand new line of clothing this fall, CNN reports. This will include new styles — like cargo pants and jogging pants — along with the original baggy “heritage” brand.

This got us thinking: what other trends from the ’90s do we hope never manage to come back into style? Here, a look at 11 fads we may have loved back then, but we hope stay in the past.

1. Bowl cuts with middle parts. Home Improvement‘s Jonathan Taylor Thomas (ugh, dreamboat much?) may have been able to pull off this look, but no one else ever will. Plus, it just looks so dated. If you saw someone walking around in 2015 with a middle-parted bowl cut, you’d genuinely think they were a time traveler.

2. Body glitter. Why did we roll sticky glitter all over ourselves like we were ready to attend a tween rave at a moment’s notice? Why did we do this? Ladies, put the roll-on glitter down and let your personalities be the part of you that shines brightest.

3. Dial-up Internet. Couldn’t you totally see hipsters bringing this ancient technology back — kind of like how they brought back record players — ironically? Can we please not? Wi-Fi is such a beautiful, beautiful gift and we should treat it as such.

4. Those pants that zip off and become shorts. Just, nah.

5. Frosted tips. Food Network personality Guy Fieri still rocks this look for some reason, but luckily, it has yet to return to the mainstream. Let’s pray it never does.

6. Crazy Bones. If you don’t recall, these were little plastic figurines. That’s all they were. But in the ’90s, elementary schoolers across the U.S. went absolutely nuts for them. What was even the point? They’re really just one big choking hazard. Luckily, today’s kids have iPads to play with so we’re probably safe from a Crazy Bones resurgence.

7. Butterfly hair clips. Okay, these were just plain cool at the time. They were versatile, but most commonly seen accompanying some kind of elaborate hairstyle. The whole craze got out of control, though, and eventually, we all agreed: enough is enough. Butterfly clips had a time in which to shine. That time is long over.

8. Lunchables. The sodium content in these things! Seriously, how are any of us even alive?

9. Light-up shoes. All the cool kids just had to have a pair of light-up LA Gear kicks, which came out in 1992. But eventually, the kids got bored of them and stopped making their parents buy them. In 1998, LA Gear filed for bankruptcy. But you know what, actually, light-up shoes were so awesome that we might be okay with a comeback.

10. Embarrassing screen names. In the early days of the Internet, it was all about making a cool screen name so you could partake in dazzling online banter like “sup” and “nm” and “kool.” Look, we get it, everybody was just excited to have Internet access, so we can excuse screen names like xoSoCCeRChiKxo and balla4adolla98. But can we all agree never to let that happen again? Just use your real name. Let’s keep it professional, guys.

11. Rat tails. Dear parents of the ’90s, why did you ever let this happen? Sincerely, everyone.

Read next: See ’90s Boy Band Members Then and Now

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