These Texting and Social Media Habits Could Sabotage Your Love Life

2 minute read
By Laura Stampler

Here’s some pleasant pre-Valentine’s Day news: You might be torpedoing potential relationships and not even know it.

Match.com’s new Singles in America Survey uncovered a host of seemingly innocuous digital behaviors that the study’s sampling of 5,675 single adults see as the relationship equivalent of leaving the toilet seat up. (Those surveyed were a nationally representative group and not all Match.com users.)

“We are swimming around in this amorphous soup of emerging rules and taboos and nobody knows exactly what’s going on,” Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist who helmed the survey, tells TIME. The digital faux pas range from incompatible texting habits to hashtag addictions. And while you might guess a few of these relationship deal breakers (70% of singles want their suitors to keep their phones off the table during dates) others are less inherent.

These are a few of the most common turn-offs to look out for so you don’t get discarded before you make it to drinks. (And some are worth considering whether you’re dating or not…)

You’re Facebook-ing All Wrong
Singles said their top social media turn-offs include

  • Emotionally dramatic posts: 73% (65% male, 78% female)
  • Excessive selfies: 57% (46% male, 65% female)
  • When you ask a current date to de-friend an ex: 55% (49% male, 59% female)

    • Your Texting Habits Are Questionable

    Men said their top three texting turn-offs included

  • Too many typos and improper grammar: 36%
  • Responding with short answers like “k” and “cool”: 33%
  • Using ALL CAPS: 30%

    • And 47% of single men also don’t like getting texted at work.

    Women hated when potential partners:

  • Have too many typos and incorrect grammar: 54%
  • Ask too many personal questions: 37%
  • Respond with short answers: 37%
  • Use ALL CAPS: 28%

    • PHOTOS: The Rise of Mobile Phones from 1916 to Today

    A German field telephone station in the Aisne department of northern France during World War I.
    1916 A German field telephone station in the Aisne department of northern France during World War I.Paul Thompson—FPG/Getty Images
    French singer and actor Johnny Hallyday in a scene from the film 'Point de Chute' (aka 'Falling Point').
    1970 French singer and actor Johnny Hallyday in a scene from the film 'Point de Chute' (aka 'Falling Point').Keystone/Holton/Getty Images
    An early mobile phone during the Iranian Embassy siege at Princes Gate in South Kensington, London.
    1980 An early mobile phone during the Iranian Embassy siege at Princes Gate in South Kensington, London.Kypros/Getty Images
    Bob Maxwell, general manager of Englewood-based Mobile Telephone of Colorado, places a call on FCC-approved radio frequency while driving to work.
    1983 Bob Maxwell, general manager of Englewood-based Mobile Telephone of Colorado, places a call on an FCC-approved radio frequency while driving to work.Lyn Alweis—Denver Post/Getty Images
    THE A-TEAM -- "The Say U.N.C.L.E. Affair" Episode 5. (l-r) Eddie Velez as Frankie Santana, Robert Vaughn as General Hunt Stockwell, George Peppard as John 'Hannibal' Smith.
    1986 THE A-TEAM "The Say U.N.C.L.E. Affair" Episode 5. (l-r) Eddie Velez as Frankie Santana, Robert Vaughn as General Hunt Stockwell, George Peppard as John 'Hannibal' Smith.Bill Dow—NBC/Getty Images
    Bill Clinton, Ray Flynn
    1992 Democratic presidential nominee Bill Clinton talks on a cell phone while meeting with Boston Mayor Ray Flynn in a New York hotel on Sept. 25.Mark Lennihan—AP
    Whoopi Goldberg during ShoWest in Las Vegas.
    1993 Whoopi Goldberg during ShoWest in Las Vegas.Jeff Kravitz—FilmMagic/Getty Images
    A farmer with his family sitting on a Bullock Cart and talking on a mobile Phone, in Delhi.
    1997 A farmer with his family sitting on a Bullock Cart and talking on a mobile Phone, in Delhi.India Today Group/Getty Images
    World Trade Center Terrorist Attack.
    2001 A woman watches smoke pour out of the World Trade Center Towers in New York on September 11.Nicholas Goldberg—Gamma-Rapho/Getty Images
    A rebel militiaman speaks on his mobile phone after capturing territory from government troops on March 25 2 in Ben Jawat, Libya.
    2011 A rebel militiaman speaks on his mobile phone after capturing territory from government troops on March 25 in Ben Jawat, Libya. John Moore—Getty Images
    A youth films the aftermath of tear gas police fired at protestors in Muhammed Mahmoud Street near Tahrir Square on November 23 in Cairo.
    2011 A youth films the aftermath of tear gas police fired at protestors in Muhammed Mahmoud Street near Tahrir Square on November 23 in Cairo.Peter Macdiarmid—Getty Images
    Audience members take pictures of President Barack Obama at Florida Atlantic University on April 10 in Boca Raton, Florida.
    2012 Audience members take pictures of President Barack Obama at Florida Atlantic University on April 10 in Boca Raton, Florida. Marc Serota—Getty Images
    A teenager takes a selfie in front of Queen Elizabeth II during a walk around St. Georges Market in Belfast.
    2014 A teenager takes a selfie in front of Queen Elizabeth II during a walk around St. Georges Market in Belfast. The Queen has apparently voiced her dismay that when she carries out engagements she is greeted by a sea of mobile phones.Peter Macdiarmid—PA Wire/Press Association Images/AP

    No, I Will Not Favorite That Instagram

    Men said their biggest Insta turn offs were:

  • Using too many hashtags: 35%
  • More specifically, too many #trending hashtags like #TBT, #WCW, #MCM: 25%
  • Pictures of kids and babies: 24% (Editors note: Good riddance baby haters)
  • Inspiring quotes/sayings: 22%

    • Single women said their biggest turn offs were:

  • Pictures showing off their body: 45%
  • Too many hashtags in a caption: 41%
  • Gym and workout pictures: 34%
  • Trending hashtags: 27%
  • Selfies: 26%
  • Party pictures: 25%

    • All these new dating pitfalls might seem disheartening, but Fisher sees a silver lining: “The beauty in this is we can make new rules,” she says. “Everything is so free-wheeling. It is kind of exciting.”

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