Stephen Colbert has been a Star Wars fan for two weeks longer than you have. When he was in the eighth grade, he explained on last night’s show, he won tickets from a local radio station to see the movie before it came out. And his original fandom qualified him to perform a scientific takedown of those who scorn the three-pronged lightsaber that debuted in last week’s teaser trailer for The Force Awakens.
Though some fans claim that the “lightsaber with too many sabers on it” puts he who wields it at risk for some serious hand burns, Colbert pulls out a whiteboard to demonstrate the genius of the new design. “It’s simple,” he scoffs. “You just need three focusing crystal activators to split the plasma into perpendicular blade energy channels.”
And just like that, Stephen Colbert won Star Wars.