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11 Ways to Trick People Into Thinking Your Regular Clothes Are a Halloween Costume

2 minute read

So you don’t like dressing up for Halloween. And while you’re completely comfortable with your decision to abstain — be it due to time, money or just general ennui — you probably aren’t excited for the inevitable person in a sexy Frida Kahlo costume stopping you in a bar, raising her one eyebrow and pointedly asking: “So what are you supposed to be?”

Rather than running across the room screaming, “Damn you, costume-sugar industrial complex!,” here are some retorts you can use to trick people into thinking your regular clothes are actually a Halloween costume. When someone asks what you’re dressed up as, you can say:

  • I’m a conscientious objector
  • I’m the bass player from [insert pretentious sounding, fake band name here]
  • I’m an undercover cop
  • I’m covering this for The Times [scribble notes furiously]
  • I’m a fashion blogger [take picture of them with iPhone, glare]
  • I’m hungover
  • I’m a secular humanist
  • [Shout] This is what a feminist looks like!
  • I’m normcore
  • I’m #blessed/#flawless
  • I’m sexy [insert your full name here, un-do top button, raise your two eyebrows back at sexy Frida]
  • And there you have it. Considering how many times you’ll get asked what you are for Halloween, you’ll probably get the opportunity to test all of our comebacks. (Maybe multiple times).

    See More:

    The Definitive History of Sexy Halloween Costumes

    Inside the Weird World of Sexy Halloween Costumes for Dogs

    More Must-Reads from TIME

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