--- description: It’s never as bad as you think. Really title: More Embarrassing, Disappointing, Soul-Crushing Failure Is Exactly What You Need image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt718b726a76d67915/6986a47306f2c1537f330d69/153951362.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  * [Ideas](/section/ideas/) ## Ideas Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close # Is More Embarrassing, Disappointing, Soul-Crushing Failure Exactly What You Need? by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Sep 22, 2014 4:01 AM CUT  Germany, Businesswoman with file on table Germany, Businesswoman with file on tableWestend61—Getty Images by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Sep 22, 2014 4:01 AM CUT In Eric Ries’ acclaimed bestseller [The Lean Startup](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307887898/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0307887898&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined") he makes it clear that little bets, or “experiments”, are critical to moving a business forward in a safe fashion: --- > “” --- This isn’t just true for companies — it’s true for you. Getting it wrong helps you get it right. Making mistakes is vital to improvement. Via [Where Good Ideas Come From: The Natural History of Innovation](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594485380/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1594485380&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- Taking tests increases performance — [even when you fail the tests.](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2010/03/does-getting-it-wrong-help-you-get-it-right/ "undefined") _Deliberately_ making mistakes during training led to better learning than being taught to prevent errors. Via [The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307591549/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- So why don’t we all just go make more mistakes? Oh yeah… **FEAR** Fear of failure is one of the most powerful feelings. Via [Brandwashed: Tricks Companies Use to Manipulate Our Minds and Persuade Us to Buy](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385531737/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- You know what the funny thing is? It’s never as bad as you think. Really. Daniel Gilbert, author of [Stumbling on Happiness](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400077427/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined") has studied how long people feel lousy after bad things happen. The answer? [Not nearly as long as they guess](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/12/how-long-will-you-feel-lousy-when-bad-things/ "undefined"). You anticipate regret will be much more painful than it actually is. Studies show we all [consistently overestimate how regret affects us](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/01/do-we-work-too-hard-to-avoid-regret/ "undefined"). Why is this? You don’t take into consideration [your amazing ability to rationalize bad events and absolve yourself of responsibility](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/01/do-we-work-too-hard-to-avoid-regret/ "undefined"). Regret hurts, but due to rationalizing it is not nearly as bad as we anticipate. When we fear failure we limit our ability to succeed. _“_ **_Both hope and despair are self-fulfilling prophecies.”_** Via [Maximum Brainpower: Challenging the Brain for Health and Wisdom](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345526147/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0345526147&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- **WHAT DO EXPERTS AND GENIUSES DO?** The shift to focusing on negative feedback — failure — is [one of the marks of an expert mindset](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-marks-the-transition-from-novice-to-expe "undefined"). Via [The Talent Code: Greatness Isn’t Born. It’s Grown. Here’s How](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/055380684X/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- How about creative geniuses? They regard failure as a learning experience and grow from it. Via [Creating Minds: An Anatomy of Creativity Seen Through the Lives of Freud, Einstein, Picasso, Stravinsky, Eliot, Graham, and Ghandi](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0465027741/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- Neuroscience research has shown that when we learn from our failures we don’t feel as bad about them. Via [The Winner’s Brain: 8 Strategies Great Minds Use to Achieve Success](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0738214698/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0738214698&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- But this advice isn’t just for experts and geniuses. Daniel Pink’s [The Adventures of Johnny Bunko: The Last Career Guide You’ll Ever Need](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594482918/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1594482918&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined") conveys a number of principles about the world of work that everyone should take note of. Not the least of which is: **Make excellent mistakes** **SO WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?** Make “little bets.” What’s a little bet? Via [Little Bets: How Breakthrough Ideas Emerge from Small Discoveries](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439170428/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1439170428&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- A little bet allows you to break out of your comfort zone and try something new knowing that if it doesn’t work out you can quickly recover and try something else. In Cal Newport’s book [So Good They Can’t Ignore You](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1455509124/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1455509124&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined") he recommends little bets for someone trying to develop their skills and create a career: --- > “” --- If you want to test a theory or [master a subject](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-does-it-take-to-become-an-expert-at-anyt "undefined") you need solid feedback and you need it fast. Failure is the clearest feedback and little bets are the safest way to fail. Get out there and fail… so you can succeed. **_This piece originally appeared on_** [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/ "undefined")**_._** **Join more than 100,000 readers.** Get a free weekly update via email [here](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD "undefined"). Related posts: [What 10 things should you do every day to improve your life?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/what-10-things-should-you-do-every-day-to-imp/ "undefined") [What 10 things should you do every \*week\* to improve your life?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/what-10-things-should-you-do-every-week-to-im/ "undefined") [What do people regret the most before they die?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/12/what-do-people-regret-the-most-before-they-di/ "undefined") ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3404811/soul-crushing-failure/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3404811/soul-crushing-failure/"},"headline":"Is More Embarrassing, Disappointing, Soul-Crushing Failure Exactly What You Need?","datePublished":"2014-09-22T04:01:17.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-31T07:55:11.822Z","description":"It’s never as bad as you think. 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