What to Do When Your Partner Is More Successful

This article originally appeared on Levo.com.

For those of you who don’t know, Scandal is starting back up again on September 25th, and I couldn’t be more psyched. Now, I know Fitz and Olivia have tons of fans, but my favorite character has always been Fitz’s wife, Mellie. She’s a highly educated woman (she was at the top of her law school class and about to make partner), but she chose to put her career on hold and help her husband become president instead.

Hopefully, your relationship isn’t filled with political scandals, adultery, and old fashioned resentment, but maybe you’ve felt like your career has taken a back seat to your partner’s. So what should you do when this happens? Push yourself harder in your own career? Get a divorce? Have an affair with the vice presidential candidate (that was Mellie’s solution, by the way)? Well, here are a few solutions that don’t involve (no pun intended…okay, pun intended) scandals.

1. Recognize the unique talents you possess.

Maybe your partner is a wonderful attorney or an excellent engineer. That’s great, but perhaps you really excel at public speaking, mentoring colleagues, or performing mathematical equations. Understanding what YOU do well will help to alleviate feelings of inadequacy that may develop when discussing your partner’s accomplishments.

2. Never stop encouraging your partner.

It takes two people to make a partnership and both of you bring your own unique skills, talents, and personality. You fell in love and committed to your partner for a reason–I bet some of that has to do with their professional strengths. Never stop encouraging them to continue on in their career path.

(MORE: Making Career Decisions With Your Partner)

3. Ask yourself if your career is where you want it to be.

Perhaps you’re feeling inadequate because you’re jealous of your partner’s professional life. Take some time to consider whether or not you’re happy and fulfilled in your own work. If not, figure out what will make it better–do you need to get another degree, transfer departments, learn to supervise, or do your work in a different way? Instead of focusing on what isn’t going right, figure out how to make it better.

In the beginning of the show, Mellie willing put her career on hold to help her husband. But maybe that’s not working for her anymore, and she needs to make a change. If you’re feeling like this too, realize that you and your parter have separate careers, separate interests, and separate professional values. Comparing your career is like figuring out whether Grey’s Anatomy is better than Scandal–they’re too different to even try and measure.

#TeamMellie

(MORE: 4 Ways to Spot a Career-Supportive Partner)