--- description: I’ve posted before about John Gottman. He can listen to a couple for 5 minutes and determine, with 91% accuracy, whether they’ll divorce. He was... title: 5 Things That Make Love Last image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production --- * [Ideas](/section/ideas/) ## Ideas Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close * [Psychology](/tag/psychology/) ## Psychology Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close # 5 Things That Make Love Last by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Aug 14, 2014 4:01 AM CUT by [Eric Barker](/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Aug 14, 2014 4:01 AM CUT I’ve [posted before](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/10/kill-relationships/ "undefined") about [John Gottman](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0609805797/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0609805797&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"). He can listen to a couple for 5 minutes and determine, with 91% accuracy, whether they’ll divorce. He was featured in Malcolm Gladwell’s book [Blink](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0316010669/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0316010669&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"). What system do they use in his lab for quickly telling who will stay together? Via [What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1451608470/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1451608470&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"): --- > “” --- In the [book](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1451608470/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1451608470&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20 "undefined"), Gottman explains the five points that allow his lab to make such spectacular predictions. **#1: Fondness and Admiration** --- > “” --- **#2: Me-ness vs. We-ness** --- > “” --- **#3: Knowing your partner** --- > “” --- **#4: Glorifying Your Struggles** --- > “” --- **#5: Disappointment vs. Satisfaction** --- > “” --- And there is a point where the rift cannot be undone: --- > “” --- What’s the core takeaway you should keep in mind? --- > “” --- **Join 45K+ readers.** Get a free weekly update via email [here](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD "undefined"). More From Barking Up the Wrong Tree: [The Science Of “Happily Ever After”: 3 Things That Keep Love Alive](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/04/happily-ever-after/ "undefined") [What are the four things that kill relationships?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/10/kill-relationships/ "undefined") [What should you look for in a marriage partner?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/07/what-you-should-look-for-in-a-marriage-partne-31938/ "undefined") _This piece originally appeared on_ [**_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/ "undefined")_._ ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/3103909/5-things-that-make-love-last/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/3103909/5-things-that-make-love-last/"},"headline":"5 Things That Make Love Last","datePublished":"2014-08-14T04:01:38.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-13T08:54:33.472Z","description":"I’ve posted before about John Gottman. He can listen to a couple for 5 minutes and determine, with 91% accuracy, whether they’ll divorce. He was...","url":"https://time.com/3103909/5-things-that-make-love-last/","keywords":["Psychology","Living","relationships","Love","Love & Relationships"],"thumbnailUrl":"","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Eric Barker","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/eric-barker/"}],"articleSection":"Ideas","image":[],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/ideas/","name":"Ideas"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/psychology/","name":"Psychology"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/3103909/5-things-that-make-love-last/","name":"5 Things That Make Love Last"}}]}] ```